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Allowing my wife to fall in love with me. I didn't know I'd become disabled and unable to support her. Now she has to deal with living in poverty and my constant depression. She worries that I will kill myself, which I would, except I couldn't leave her like that. When we first started going out I had lots of cash, and took her on trips like to Universal Studios, and now I feel like what i did was false advertising. I was in college, got my degree I told her everything is going to work out, and now I can't work. She got pregnant and we lost it, and then we said we're poor so we can't have kids, and now it's too late, so she never gets to have kids. Right now our biggest goal is to move out of the state because our governor is trying to take away our health care. We want to try to get a house together with my mom. How lame is that? I'm 40 and married and our biggest goal is to move in with my mom.

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your avatar makes you look far from disabled... maybe if you lower your exectations you can find work that will actually support you, instead of meeting your anticipations.

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this broke my heart :(. hang in there man. as long as you two truely love each other,both of you are the richest people on this planet. I know im just a young punk that has never walked a day in your shoes but please... look at the positives and deny the negatives. too many people focus on the negatives instead of the positives. i wish the best for you and your wife. keep on chuggin' :)

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The disability isn't physical. My expectations are as low as they get. I would work anywhere if I could without the disability destroying it.

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Stuff and status do not equal happiness. Don't keep thinking they will. Google "Love Bank", and learn to meet each others most important needs, then you will at least be happy together. That is surely worth more than any stuff...that's the only thing (some of us believe) you can take with you when you go. I think one of the best ways to move your focus away from your own pain is to try and help someone else in theirs...I sincerely wish you all the very best. Be creative...it's part of being human!

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No one knows what's coming down the pike in life. That's what makes it a mystery and it's full of challanges. My mother is a recent amputee and it's been rough for both of us because I'm helping to take care of her. Please stop beating yourself up for what was unforseeable, you have a loving wife that is sticking by you through the roughest time in your life, she deserves your love.
S.W.

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Feel for you, can't you move to the UK? You would get free healthcare, You would get disability benefits and a car and a host of other benefits and most of your rent paid and if you had a child you would get even more.

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Oh dear dear Beastweaver,
You didn't know cuz none of us can know. I'm so sorry for your loss of your baby. However, you are no less worthy than when she fell in love with you. Hell happens, and I hope things go well for you, no shame, **** just happens. I wish you all the best and look to the beautiful sky and take deep breaths. Luv and hugs.

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Hi Beastweaver
When I married my husband I was very fit and active at age 34 I was diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis and swiftly lost a lot of mobility and endured intense pain since 1991i used to jog for the fun of it. Never thought i would face such a nasty disease but i am still here, move gingerly as walking is now difficult. i have adult children and I continue on for them.. Life is hard, you have to play the cards the best you can. Hope you come to a place where you will not feel guilty for having mobility issues. Try to do your best and work around the challenges if possible, we are all rooting for you...
Debi (dattsus)

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Aww, that isn't your fault :(

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I am on the other-side of a similar relationship. If my wife expressed a view similar to yours, i would be very upset. Do not feel guilty about the choices of others, and if those choices are in your favor, thank them. You can still have kids if you are poor, seems to me your wife's health and age are the determinants.

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When I was young I swapped my dad's war medals for something. Can't recall what it was, but later as I grew older I realised how much they meant to him. I can't forgive myself because he had nothing to show for his services for King & Country in W.W.2. I know now it's too late now as he has gone and the damage has been done and there is no chance to repair it. Really sorry mum & dad. I shall carry this guilt to my grave.It still haunts me today, and it will for rest of my life. R.I.P. Dad & Mum xx.

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Id bet the only thing that would have hurt him more is the knowledge that the loss of those medals was causing you this much pain

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There's another word for the guilt you feel. Wisdom. Pass it on.

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Parents love their children and would want you to let is go and be happy. You have love and pride in your Dad for his service and that would be much more meaningful to him than some pieces of metal.

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They were not just ' pieces of metal' as you put it. They were his prized possessions and I took them from him along with his pride. I didn't show him any respect or dignity. I am ashamed of myself. Young people should be proud of their elders who fought for their country in two world wars. Now most have passed on, any survivors should be able to rest in comfort & peace without fear of yobs attacking them for their money or for being frail &/or vulnerable. Otherwise there would be no point of fighting wars. I know I've gone on a bit but it's something I had to get off my chest..

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Making people fall in love with me, then pushing away and out of my life.

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Nothing. Everyone I killed deserved killing.

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Withholding intimacy from my husband because I am so disgusted with my body.

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I know the pain that you feel. Its not easy to fight it, but you can. Many men will tell you that if you have confidence, it far outweighs the shape of your body as far as sexiness goes. If you admit to your husband the reasons you have been withdrawn, and give him an opportunity to tell you that he loves you and finds you beautiful and sexy the way you are - feel those words and let them heal you. If you are not happy with your body, you can do something about it, and I don't mean dieting. You can start changing your mind. Start reminding yourself that you are made in the image of the divine - all of you. You have a spirit that is beautiful and powerful and fills a whole room. You are NOT your body, but so much more. You are worthy of intimacy just as much as your husband is, and its time that you started believing that you deserve that. You can have the body you've got and be miserable, or you can have the body you've got and you can be happy, sexy and free. Choose the one that brings you joy -that is the real meaning of life. Namaste <3

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regrets, i've wasted a lot of time caring about others opinions and wasted time trying to please them instead of pleasing myself.

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Not making or having the opportunity to use or express my full potential.

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Dunno....maybe noticing "recurring" English errors on QOD?

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Nice catch!

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yep two days in a row

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The fact that I ruined my own life out of shame and guilt for never being able to meet the standards of my father.

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The fact that I can't get it right.

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What, for example, can't you get right? If you don't mind sharing.

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I didn't motivate my kids to reach their maximum potential, and to have self confidence in themselves..

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I killed a guy.<br />
No, I didn't. But seriously, I always feel guilty for the lies i've told in the relationship i'm in now. I've stopped now and hope to be a better girlfriend.

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Bringing my child into this cruel corrupted world..... sigh

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I was VERY mean to my 5th grade teacher (about 40 years ago). She was a young lady (in hindsight, she was probably in her early twenties). She was a sweet young girl and I told her that all the students hated her. I don't even remember why I told her that but I recall that she burst out crying. Later one of the other teachers came to me and told me how mean I was and what a bad thing I did. I probably gave the girl a major complex ... and she was only trying to be a good teacher and role model to her students. I'm sure she got over it but I still feel guilty for making her cry.

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Leaving a friend behind. It still weighs on me be we had grown in two different directions. We had a lot of mutual friends that were effected. Drugs will do that, he just decided he wanted to begin to do them and not stop. I see places that make me think of all the times that whole group of friends was together before everything went to ****. I feel guilty because I think I would have delt with differently but considering there were drugs involved and he didnt want to change its hard to say. Couple that with the fact I was trying to get my own life going along with help at home with my brother who has ADHD while my mom took care of her ailing parents, it just all turned bad. I still feel bad things played out that way but thats life. My goal now is to move, get a place of my own and get some distance while still being able to see the people I care about. But that wont change how I feel when I think of that whole mess.

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I ran away from my father when he told me I had to visit my grandmother at the hospital because she was getting one of her breast cut off. I don't even know why I would do something so stupid anymore.

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lately, just about everything, i kinda feel like my whole life is passing in front of me again, memories of when i was a kid are all comin back. i was a horrible person in a lot of ways. but day by day the love of My Jesus is washin me clean again and it is a wonderful feeling.

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I am so against abortion, and because I did not want to disappoint the people in my life I had an abortion 10 years ago. I feel like such a hypocrite now I have 3 kids but as look at them and think about what if. It haunts me when I sleep still. I have this reoccurring dream where this little baby girl cries and I can never calm her down. Wow I suck no one on here needs to tell that. Guilt is an understatement of what I feel, if it was just guilt that would be simple. I live with pain enormous amounts of pain. I pray that God will forgive me and I can one day forgive myself if I deserve it.

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No

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Not saying I love you and goodbye to my great grandma because I was mad with my mother.

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