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sometimes i think that men are in a different world than us, different things affect them more than others. The things we find hurtful are stupid to them sometimes, and vice versa. I wonder if i've said things to my bf that hurt? i know he plays tough, but i know better, i think it bothers him when i joke and say he's lame and tell him he's boring ( i normally end up sayin nooo ur not im kidding!)....what else might b hurtful?..well generally to a guy anyways. I wanna hear the stuff that secretly hurt men, like the ones they know hurt but won't say out loud...and or both lol.
unstablemind101 unstablemind101 22-25, F 29 Answers Sep 14, 2008

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yeah, I would advise against calling him boring even if you are "just kidding". That's not a nice way to joke around, and after a while he'll wonder if you're really just kidding. <br />
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An easy way to hurt a guy's feelings is to make fun of his man parts.

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We don't do anything when we know you want companionship & to be "needed," because you are ******** who don't think beyond your immediate "wants." Food, Sex, video games, ****, what else is there?

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What hurts a guy's feelings? Doubting us and our abilities. Also we want to know we are useful and that we're needed and that we mean something beyond a free meal and a fun night. The feeling of attachment and love starts dying for us when we're ignored. That and when women think all we want or need is sex. Our girlfriends or wives are always telling us we know that we know. But then if you know how come you don't do anything? Another one is when women try to change us wether its our personal habits or clothes or whatever. It hurts us when you do that because it tells we're not good enough of as it is. We just want to be ourselves for you.

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Since men are humans, whatever hurts any human. On a simple level, having a gift like an iTunes card returned from someone you've known for years when it didn't cost much - and it was simply for a birthday - for no reason or a lame reason - that hurts - and seems to say to never get that person a gift again - and that there must not be even much of a friendship. On a higher level - opening up deeply to someone and having them mock who you are inside - that hurts. I see so many older women sitting around talking about how they can't find a good man, but then I remember how many of these same women tossed very good men away in thier constant trading up mentality. The worst though - when a man loves a woman - truly....to see that human being leave you for someone else who treats them like dirt - a succession of guys that treat them like dirt - then to find that woman years later...you still loving them with everything you've got, never having stopped loving them...and to see that vacant / hard look in their eyes that says they're damaged - they've given up on love...and their words saying "all men are the same"... when that's just not true. When women allow themselves to be hurt and damaged, that truly hurts the man who really loves you, because for those of us who truly love you - it's not about us....it's about you.

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I've always been the girl with a million guy friends and grew up with two brothers, since then getting married has only solidified my thoughts on this matter.<br />
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Me are just as emotional as we are, the same things we worry about (with a few exceptions) worry them too, The difference between us you might wonder is that they are able to separate these emotions from they're day to day. They can hide them so much better than we can, but they still have them....

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telling him his penis is weird and too small, will kill him!

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having one of your qualities or traits compared to former bf/husband, then showing a preference for the other person.<br />
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also, instead of attacking someone's ability at sex, just say "Don't touch Me!" especially when he's trying to make up or apologize. For me that would almost be a relatonship breaker

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You are correct, men and women do live in different worlds.<br />
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Guys are insecure, we feel like pretenders all the time. We wonder if someone is going to find out the truth, that we mostly make it up as we go along.<br />
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Surefire ways to hurt a guys feelings are to correct him in public, especially in front of his coworkers. Doing that goes one step closer to having his peers find out that he is a pretender. Another way is to do something that disrespects him. <br />
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A couple of books that explain this is pretty good detail are "For Women Only" and "For Men Only. Both written by Feldhahn.

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Condescenscion is one of the worst. We are naturally insecure, so we can be pretty defensive internally. <br />
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Also telling the guy he's bad in bed or challenging his abilities in bed is killer, because from a very young age men are competitive about that. Size and the rest which leaves us seriously questioning ourselves sometimes.<br />
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It's true our ego's are somewhat fragile. We have a tough facade and never really fortify our confidence. We tend to just fake harder, which can make anything that makes us question ourselves pretty bad.

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i once told a bf that he was no good in bed and he was so pissed that he walked home in more than a foot of snow and it was still coming down.

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Gontrary to myth and legend....men do have feelings. Seriously though, We have the same emotions as women and we get hurt just as easily and the same ways. If it would hurt you, then chances are it will hurt us too.

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Where are the guys? i want to hear from them. <br />
I know our brains are wired differently. why women can mulitask better and we communicate more often and better. <br />
Men need to stop and think about how they feel. Why so many women get frustrated when we ask how they feel and they go aaah?. <br />
BUT I want to hear from the men!

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Men have an ego we dont. You cannot speak or insult the things that make a man a man because they take offence. The lion is the king of the jungle and its been that way foever. Noone goes against his wishes. Men feel they are superior and not to be a man is not in his naure. They resent the inplication that they are weak and to them that is a great insult to their manlyhood.There is one thing I dislike and thats a macho man. Give me a pussycat any day because that to me is a gentleman and he knows how to treat a lady and Im a lady. Most men are on ego trips and you have to be careful with that. Sooth him with praise and let him know that he is your king and he will love you forever.

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Attacking things he thinks he is good at. Or imply another man can do whatever is in question better. You know the same **** that gets the ladies. ;)

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As has been said, its the same things that hurt women. Guys to the most part have been programmed to not show feelings and to not let on you've been hurt. We are all individuals men and women and no one thing will work across the board, apart from love that is

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talking about other men you've been with and putting him down is annoying.<br />
telling him he's a loser and useless is hurtful. <br />
but the killer blow is cheating on him.

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another way to hurt a guys feelings is to say hes no good in bed........and he needs to read a book like the facts of life before he gets in bed with you again....lol but seriously men hurt inside some of them but not all.

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I think that guys get hurt by basically the same things that women get hurt by, they just don't show it, or at least not in the same way. If something hurts a girl , we are allowed to get upset or emotional about it, but because of the way this world is set up & the way a lot of ppl raise their boys, they make guys feel like it's wrong to get emotional over things. We are typically just more sensitive to some things than they are, but, on the whole, they are just as sensitive & just don't show it.

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These questions are guaranteed to hurt a guy's feelings. 1. Are you in yet? 2. Are you done yet?

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What tends to hurt us men is when our wives/girlfriends critique our sexual ability. As men,we are at our best when our best is highlighted and our egos stroked. It might sound weird but its true. I dare any of you women to try this method,and sit back and watch something amazing happen. Your man I guarantee you will make a turn around,and strive to correct his faults. You see this happens because of the simple fact that not just men,but anyone will feel motivated to do better once complimented...but it happens more so with men because a very large part if a man is his ego. Ever wonder why he doesn't ask for help,directions etc? Its because as men we cannot process helplessness...it is a strange and foreign feeling for us,and we either stay quiet and retreat to the "man cave" of our mind to try to decode this "new feeling" or we lash out at the person seen as the offender. When a woman critiques a man about his sexual ability even if it happens once,there is a place where this is stored in the back of a man's mind forever...unless of course major damage control is done. This is true of anything seen by the man as disrespect. Constructive criticism is the best type and should be used in place of phrases like," You never...you always....why don't you!!!??". Instead try to put your point across in a way where he can see where you're coming from,and has a desire to help or assist,"Darling,you did a wonderful job on the patio today,can I have a part to play too? I wondering if this would look good on the left,what do you think?". You started off by stroking and ended by stroking,and most importantly you did not assume control of something that he saw as his responsibility...you didn't take that away from him,and you still let him know the final decision rests with him.

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