I would offer it too the local zoo :)

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I couldn't wax its face because your use of the word "aforementioned" means that you're indicating a baby that was mentioned previously (but wasn't). Therefore, the baby only exists in the future or not at all. I can't deal in time paradoxes, sorry.

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Here's the part where I feel silly >_<

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i would shave it with a razor dont wax it would hurt

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I'd sell it to the circus

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No. That'd be cruel and pointless.

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no i would be jealous because I'm still working on a patch of facial hair on the left side of my face to complete my beard

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