I think that both bipolar men and women experience sex differently from the rest of the population. I think this is because bipolar people require more intense emotion out of life. We need intensity in such a way that if we can't be high, we'd rather be low than normal.
I think we see love as the way to feel happy, and when we're depressed, what we really want, more than anything, is to have someone love us as intensely as we want to love. That, right there, is the meaning of life, for us.
I am saying for us because while it is the case for me, I have spoken to enough other bipolar folks in my support group and online, that I hear this same feeling echoed in many other bipolar people. So I am willing to generalize about it.
Love and sex, I think, are more intense for us. Merging with another person is what life is about. It makes us feel no longer alone. It gives a high that probably can't be explained. I suspect that the brain chemistry of our sexuality is different, and that when we ******, it affects us more powerfully, because of our disorder. It is one of the few natural things that can make us feel better.
Of course, it also makes us feel worse, since society does not approve of people with multiple partners, especially if they are married. So that can be pretty problematic for someone who doesn't know they are ill, who is naturally seeking sex and love as a way to feel better, yet feels worse because of the guilt of going outside marriage, and doesn't understand why he or she is doing things they have never done before. I know I felt compelled to do these things because I felt like I was saving my life, and yet I didn't believe it, and thus told myself I was an awful person for breaking my vows. My guilt was so much stronger than my desire for pleasure, that I ended up nearly killing myself. But even my wife, when I told her what I had done, said I shouldn't kill myself for that. I was worth something despite my behavior. It took me a long time to believe that. Ironically, it was the love of other women that finally helped me come to think I was not worthless.
I am tempted to wonder how many people think I should have forsaken others and just killed myself. I don't know why I torture myself with these thoughts. I want people to understand and forgive me even though I know most people can't do that. So I tell myself it doesn't matter what others think. What matters is my life.
So do you see how sex becomes a matter of life and death for me? It's that intense. It is everything! And I think that other bipolar people feel similarly. And that's why people who love us can find it to be so intense and so good. It's the emotions we express, not how great we might be as lovers. The emotions will blow you away. Our very lives are at stake, or at least, it feels that way -- to both us and our partners.
It has it's highs and lows
Bipolar recovering sex addict here, personally sex meant a lot more to me than I think it does to average people, but because I always took it so personally and saw it as a deep bonding experience, unfortunately many of my partners didn't feel the same way and that lead me to the lesson that some people are very shallow and pursue lesser pleasures over greater one, needless to say, I got hurt a few times.
I am so glad a man who has bipolar disorder answered the question. And the answer does not surprise a bipolar woman. Thank you for your honesty.
Mildly bipolar (type 2) woman here: when I was younger I had the wildest sexual fantasies. I could be in a state of arousal for days on end! I never cheated on a partner except if I knew he was cheating on me (a messed-up situation, to be sure). I always had one partner in mind, someone with whom I was totally infatuated, and even if there was no possibility with him, it would take me what seemed like forever to move on and become infatuated with someone else.
As several guys noted above, making love was a magical merging experience for me if it was with someone with whom I was obsessed. I would jump right in bed with such a person, feeling like this would automatically take us to a new level. Unfortunately, this feeling wasn't always mutual, and I got burned many times.
In my forties and fifties I stopped thinking about sex 24/7, but I am still very passionate and loyal about my partner. I am in a marriage that is perhaps not healthy for me (I suspect that he has borderline personality disorder), but I'm quite addicted to him and cannot leave him. Filed for divorce (paying big bucks), only to have to rescind the order when I could not go through with it.
A few years ago I was put on a mood stabilizer for the first time (topamax) and all sexual fantasies came to an abrupt end. It made me sick too, so I stopped taking it after less than a week. Whatever I have is pretty mild and I manage better without meds.
Bipolar people are like any other people. They come in all different shapes and forms.
I would imagine that when someone is in a manic state they could experience hyper-sexuality. This would probably make them more creative and fun in bed. Other than that, it would be like anyone else.
The sex I had with a bipolar man was so hot the best I ever had!
Hot and Cold lol
Hyper-sexuality must be one of main characteristics of being bi-polar. Havent really research this topic but its good to know I'm not alone.
I am like many bipolar people, I can be high, I can be low, but since I have attained with medication a good degree of normalcy, my female lovers have all told me that I am the most imaginative, "amaizing" lovers they have ever had. I tend to believe from those testimonies that I am pretty good and caring for women's pleasure.
i don't know for sure but i would assume it would depend on their mood (are they manic or depressed? how manic? or how depressed?) at the time of the sex. but other factors figure in too, factors that affect the quality of sex for everyone, not just bipolar men. sex is such a personal experience. all bipolar men do not have the same kind of sex. one single person does not have the same kind of sexual experience every time he/she has sex. but it is worth mentioning that bipolar meds can definitely affect sex.
I seem to fall off a lot.
its not like that if they are passionately in love then im sure they pay attention to detail if the honeymoon is over im sure that they can be turned on and enjoy intamacy unless they are so depressed then maybe it takes a little more to get them in the mood. I have read that lithium a common drug used to treat bipolar can decrease sexual drive but it really depends on the relationship.
So it doesn't matter to a bipolar person with sex they will have sex with anyone? They don't get feelings for the person? I'm reading all these comments and it seems like they just **** anyone especially when they are manic state of mind. So the other person's feelings don't count and they blame the other one for wanting it. I'm just saying because I am hurting by someone who didn't tell me he was bipolar until after we had sex a couple times now he is shutting me out. I wish I can just have sex with someone and not feel anything after. I wish he was honest with me before we had sex. Now he blames me saying I wanted it and my emotions are crazy.
For me it is something that i use to connect with someone I'm not very good at sharing my feelings I have alot of walls put up But sex is the one way you can show someone how you feel. I have a huge sex drive
Very interesting to read as iv always wondered.im a bipolar woman married to a man who is not interested in sex so its a struggle for me at times of highs