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I am a 21 year old guy with Asperger's Syndrome. Asperger's Syndrome is a disorder that has ruined my life and never had a relationship. Asperger's Syndrome makes it hard for me to form relationships and to socialize. I do not pick up on nonverbal cues and can't tell whether somebody is interested or not. I really hate myself because I am black also. I just feel so damn ugly compared to other men of races. I don't have sharp features or good features. I hate my life i wish a random bullet would hit me in my head or heart. Life sucks and I don't want to live. I don't care about hell or satan if he exists. HELL would be alot better than living in this lame society. I want to get euthanasia so I will die peacefully. Does insurance cover euthanasia because I have a good reason to die it feels like AIDS its consuming my life everyday. I will eventually die from stress anyway. I currently take medications and I see a psychiatrist and psychologist it does not help me.
Dorksterguy Dorksterguy 18-21, M 49 Answers May 19, 2011

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The best and most satisfiying way to make your heart stop beating is to grow old. Works almost every time!

There will be bad times along the way,and there will be great times that will make you forget about the bad.

I was 30yr's old before I found some one to love me,and that one moment made every day of lonelyness worth living.

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I'm 31, almost 32. No one has ever loved me, and that is not from my lack of trying. I am just not a lovable man. At this time, I am going through the acceptance phase that loneliness is going to be my life, which is somewhat traumatic because I always wanted several kids and a big family. I dreamed about it all the time.



That being said, I won't commit suicide. Life is going to suck, yes, but I have decided that having nothing to loose puts me in a perfect position to risk my life helping others. If I see someone in trouble, no matter how dangerous it is, I will try to help them. My life may be pointless, but it does not mean theirs is.

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Your life is NOT Pointless and sharing your feelings really helps others.. I am a Vet who in 01 was hit by a car, I ended up in the windshield and was DOA 2 times on the way to the hospital. I have never been the same, I do not know whether I am coming or going.. I have a great family, wife and kids.. I gave 16 years and before it was my time everything ended, my carrier was done. Since then I have become pretty much a shell. No friends I do not even talk to my fellow Vets, I simply bottle this nasty **** inside and it festers like cancer. Sometimes I want to feel bad for myself but most of the time I want to feel bad for those around me.. I have learned to live with it but they should not have to... I sincerely try the best I can and sometimes trying to help others to see their lives are not pointless or worthless helps me to realize neither is mine... A great guy once told me that no matter who does or doesn't love you God always will.. This does not make me a man of faith but it does give me hope for others...

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I am a caregiver and I have met many people with different illnesses and disorders. These are the people that humble me every day. These people are fighters and the most positive people i will ever meet, let alone their circumstances. Yes sure they have bad down days and it is seriously tough iv'e been through many with them. I feel for you so bad, you sound like you have a lot going your way. The way you write is clearly educated. Who has had a relationship at 21? You're young you have your life ahead of you, the world is a giant place, if it's not working for you there go somewhere else and see if it works for you there. Do you know other people with the same disorder? This seems like a good site to find others.

It's easy to believe that the world is just the small town in which you live in. Help, friends, lovers are all people that are out there you just need to go looking.

Being black is sexy, you're hot!

What if you die and there is a hell and it is waaaay worse? There's no second chances... but there is in life... hang in there!!!!

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You don't have a good reason to "kill yourself." Do you think other people should die because they have an illness that makes it hard to form relationships and pick up on cues? Do you think others should die because society at large, the media, Hollywood, or they believe they are not attractive enough? It sounds like you have clinical major depression. That is treatable. You can also get treatment for the syndrome you have. You can learn how to recognize cues and other techniques. Depression is a disease that can be treated. You don't have to live your life in pain. We feel like dying mostly because we want the pain to stop, to come to an end. There are answers to that. You just need to look for it. You are just 21. You have your whole life ahead of you. I know that is a cliche but it is true. I once didn't believe it either.



When you are depressed, you don't think straight. Depression takes over your mind. You have to be healed before you can see things like they are and believe it. You are selling yourself short by believing all the things your depression is whispering in your ear. Please ignore the others who do not know what is going on and are answering your question in an ignorant, negative way.

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I took care of my father who had Alzheimers disease. I saw everything that a man who lived die inside. He stopped recognises me as his daughter, he walked into the darkness not knowing the dangers, while I followed. The only thing that made him listen to me was that I told him that I loved him. He died after five years of caring for him and protecting him from death. Death was all around him and every form. Without love and care he would have died faster. Family is the key to a long life without family in so many ways there is nothing. God is another reason to live for because when my father died, part of me died with him. God, my husband, my sister, a friend, and some EP members helped throught the process of helping with their thoughts. Sometimes, other peoples thoughts help, when friends, and family tell you that it was the best. It was not what I wanted when my Dad died, I would have taken care of him forever. For some members of my family death was better for them to keep moving on. Life is a gift, to live is paying the price for that gift. Surviving is payment to the gift you have from God. Maybe you feel you are not worthy, but I know you were put in this earth for a reason. In so many ways, you have given me a purpose and reason to thank myself for putting years of my life for someone else's. Thank you and God Bless you on your hard times. My prayers to you and may God help you. Love.

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May God bless you. It's the most difficult job on earth.

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I really don't understand people like you. What do you want? Really? Not to die, obviously or you'd just walk out into traffic or something. What is it? To be coddled? You want people to feel sorry for you? Like, hardware says, there are thousands of sick and injured people out there fighting just to live, and here you are throwing a life away. Man up and live your life. Make the most of it despite your handicaps. We all have them, you know.

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Thank you for agreeing with me :)

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You need to refrain from answering questions posted like this from people who have depression.

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Dave,,,,,some times ya gotta tell it like it is!

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idiot. do you have experience with asperger's syndrome? if not shut up. you'll do a boat load of damage out of ignorance.

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There is a differance between physical pain and emotional trama this is one of the first stages eventually it will end up in that scenario if left untreated those type of comments do more harm than good.

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Dave748 
I hope you read this ..... SHUT UP ...... It is not always about attention .. To wake up each morning wanting to just throw up because you are in emotional pain , to force your self to even get out of bed to use the bathroom, to go to bed praying and begging God to make it your time is so debilitating ... The pain is overwhelming. It is harder then loosing a parent, a child, a friend, a pet, all in the same day. longing to die is the most difficult thing to handle especially when there are dumb sh**S like your self who try to make you feel worse .... Gee why not just push him....
Think about what you say first. ... yes it is hard to lose someone to suicide however it is 100 times harder and longer to bare the pain of waking up each morning after crying so hard you throw up and can't breath, the pain and aches of your heart and body is indescribable ...... I pray you never feel that pain....

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Dave, you ignorant ****, people with Aspergers syndrome is NOT the kind of people you write this to. You don't understand the seriousness your words may have. I'm ashamed for you.

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Really? Nice name calling. You still come back to this question months later. Some emotional ************ for you?

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don't give up. the best way to **** the world off is to be right up in its f@cking face and saying, I'm still here and what?!



happiness is fleeting in moments not an extended feeling that last long.Thats why we seek them so and want it so much,all the time like a drug.

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There is a lot of truth in what you say.
Happiness is a state of mind!
Now,me for instance,,,,I'm so happy I could ****!

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Young man, I am 25 and in the same shoes. Im very sorry you have to live in a world where most just don't care. I know that feel and have known it for to long let alone would I wish it on someone else. I hate the very skin I know feel locked inside because I have almost nearly stopped learning how to be and react normally around others. Like I shut down, specially with the nonverbal cues. Im sorry fellow human.

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My fiancée sister is adopted and has Asperger's Syndrome and she is the most wonderful person I know. I understand that there are many challenges to overcome when you have Asperger's, but it can be done. I can tell you that I have lost a husband of 21 years, to suicide and his brother took his life 3 years ago on Christmas, and my best friend took his life 2 weeks ago and he was only 47 years old. None of the had to deal with Asperger's Syndrome, but you unlike them have a gift. I know that my fiancée sister is very smart in many ways. I think that no matter what the obstacles we all have to overcome, are overwhelming sometimes always remember that there is a helping hand for you to hold and turn to no matter what. I would be very sad if my loving friend took her life, and I would feel very sad if you took your life. You are a gifted person, and I know this because I have seen it personally. Please reach out to someone with whom you love and or just as you think of as a friend, they will help you understand that life will be so unbearable without you in it!



With Love

Lori

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You are not ugly at all but I can see how insensitive people can make you feel that way. You are letting other people influence your emotions. If you are on meds, you probably need to revisit which meds you are taking because one of the side effects is suicidal tendencies. If you are seeing a psychiatrist, then you need to tell him/her how you are feeling because it is not normal. You are not seeing what other people can see - a good looking young man. Call the doc!!

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People suck anyways, you're better off alone. Life is what you make of it. Happiness is not dependent on other people. There are plenty of happy people with Asperger's. If your life sucks it is because you aren't trying to make it better. Killing yourself is the coward's way out.



Euthanasia is illegal, so it isn't covered by insurance. However you do it just don't hurt anybody else in the process. Except of course your family and friends and doctors who will automatically be hurt.

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I wouldn't say better off alone. You have to learn how to be alone before you can understand how to be with some one.
lol I'm sure that does not make sense to any one but me.

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no one actually wants to give a suggestion.. how cruel

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Hey man:D keep your head up :D and what's wrong with being black? I had a black Girlfriend and she was awesome :D unfourtanetly things didn't work out tho

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GOD loves you bro. we all feel like you have from time to time, but it is all a test to see how much Faith we have in our LORD JESUSCHRIST; Study THE HOLY BIBLE and trust in our LORD JESUSCHRIST with all your heart, and even if it doesn't happen right away, hold on to your Faith and it will change for the best at the perfect time!!!!!!!

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So now you are 22 yrs old...How has your life been since?

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Please..All i can say is don't write about this on the internet..People are cruel, and people don't know anything about your condition and don't have the slightest clue of it's seriousness..My best friend in my youth has Aspergers and I had to hopelessly sit by him and witness the abuse he'd receive from people. Don't listen to ANYBODY. People simply don't know, they have not a clue. Please just hang on in there..Death is certainly not worth someone like you. Your courage to have come here and write is tremendous. Do you go to any support group? I know these things have great value to people.. Feel free to message me anytime if you need someone to talk to, really.

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stupid you dont have to kill your self a a ******* disorder you are just sad because you are virgen

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Shut the **** up.

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I feel your pain bro but most of the time relationships can make you feel the same way it makes you lose your appetite for sometime days at a time so love isn't always the answer because it can make you feel worst on the inside. Life is a trip so wear knee pads it is too many things to stress about my name is pj and I'm telling sometimes it best not to kno wat goes on around you foreal it's hard I kno because of my heavy heart

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Dont do it life is always worth living u need help

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All of you who answer without having depression - go **** yourselves! You don't know how hard it is to wake up every ******* day wanting to die. The only reason you're hanging on IS TO PREVENT THOSE WHO LOVE YOU FROM FEELING LIKE ****! Who are the selfish mother *******? Hmm... **** all of you for not knowing what it's like and for trying to tell people bullshit like it's a long term solution for a short term problem! None of you know what it's like to live in hell inside your own brain! If someone who had cancer would die, you'd make yourself feel better by saying at least they're no longer suffering. Well.... what about us who suffer EVERY ******* day!?!? We suffer just to apease you and to make those of you who don't understand feel better about yourselves! SO **** off and actually let someone who feels depressed FEEL depressed. Depression is an illness just as cancer/diabetes/insert any other chronic illness. So just **** off and get over yourselves!

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You need to live on. Life is hard and society can be cruel but live for you, not those who judge you. Do things which make you happy and most of all don't let a diagnosis be the end of someone as special and unique as you. There is only one of you in the entire world. You are wonderful and unique don't let people tell you otherwise.

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