What is the filthiest thing you have ever done?
Years ago, I learned that the woman who I was engaged to was unfaithful. I have bought her a ring and was in the process of buying her a car. On a tip, I went to her home one night to discover another man there. I actually saw them through a window that was left open. I waited until he left and popped up at her door unannounced. She was a little flustered because I was there only 1 minute after he walked out the door. I was cool- made small talk until I excused myself to the bathroom. I got up and told her I knew everything. Then I went to the middle of the Persian rug in the living room, dropped my pants, squatted and commenced to drop one monstrous deuce. She started screaming and threw a phone charger at me. I had been to Chipotle earlier so it was especially hideous. As she threatened to call the cops and called me every name in the book, I duckwalked over to the window with my pants around my ankles. I wiped my *** with a velvet curtain, said "goodbye 4ever, b!tch" and left.