Strangled them to death.

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Forgot the duct tape and chloroform

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A sick mind is a terrible thing to waste

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Well i have no shame but, my waiter was gay and i convinced him to throw a tantrem about all the manly lovn he gave me the night before and why was i there with a woman, she took it well so i knew she had a good sense of humor. But he did a good enough job everyone else was convinced.

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I made dinner from scratch..and was making whipped cream .. but I didn't know how much you had to whip it.I was using a Whisk.. and figured out after awhile it was not working well... I did not have a mixer at the time.. so I grabbed my 1/2 inch drill.. put a drill bit into it.. and taped the wisk to the bit.. whipped cream shortly after.. I just felt dumb for not thinking far enough ahead

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Fell on my *** cause I drank too much.

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Tore my skirt getting out of his raggedy car, showing my underwear. I'd chosen THAT time to wear a garter belt. Embarrassing as hell.

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Spilled half a cup of coffe down my white blousse while drinking it.

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