Its a difficult question. Sometimes the man is just an *******. Sometimes he does it because he can't get something he needs at home. Sometimes... sometimes its just complicated.
But I do believe that its never just the man's fault. It takes two to save a marriage, it also takes two to ruin it.
Well, how about if he cheats on his wedding day? Still her fault?
I did say marriage, didn't I? But when in a relationship, a lot of women make the same mistake: they relax and think no effort is needed anymore from their side to keep it going. Think that since the guy is by their side, engaged, has a kid from him, there is no need to think about his needs, take his position into account, dress pretty and so on. Every situation is individual, but I have seen so many examples of this I just lost count. You know what several of my male friends told me? They are afraid of a permanent relationship because a) sex life comes to a halt, b) the woman stops taking care of herself, c) the woman changes her behavior for the worse including nagging, fighting and so on. And I have seen that too. So as I said, takes two. But I'm not saying its just the woman's fault. There are plenty of men out there that are not worth a single woman to be with them. And I'm not saying its always the woman's fault. Its complex. Each situation is individual.
I read your profile.
One of them was my father. I was six years old, and my brother was only 18mos. After all of these years, the memory of the breakup, the feeling of abandonment and loss remains. Think about that while you're fooling around with some other person's man.
Oh wait that was his DYING wife he left for the woman he was cheating on her with does that still count?
totally, but that guys career is over, this A-hole is potentially going to be our next president.
These men are Selfish ****** who don't give a rat's *** about another person's feelings and don't know the meaning of commitment...and for the person who was blaming a woman for not dressing pretty as a cause for the man's leaving..What about when these men don't bathe and walk around in their boxers the whole day during the weekend...If you are not going to dress for us, why should we dress for you...Also we work hard the whole week and run the house at the same time, and when we decide to unwind and dress up in sweats at home during the weekend we are accused of letting go?? If you can't handle us at our worst then you dont deserve to see us at our best..How would men like it if we left them for getting bald or developing a middle age pouch...Thats how we feel as well, when selfish ****** decide to walk out because we are too tired to dress up, after handling a kid or more, working our ***** off 40 hours per week and making sure you have your dinner on the table when you come back tired from work...But oh, thats no excuse is it?? Should we leave our jobs maybe?? but then, they would resent us for not being independent enough and living on their income. So what are we supposed to do??
I don't think many married men actually leave, they say they will leave though. You may find yourself hanging on for years waiting for the guy. Do you want to wait for years? What if the the guy decides he can't disrupt his child's life when the kid is in college, then grad school, etc. If he has a 12 year old you may wait another 12 years. Then guys like that make excuses that the wife is too fragile to leave. Too, a guy that will cheat on his wife and children will cheat on you too.
Bottom line, people need to free themselves before entering into a relationship with someone else. Dating a married man or woman is no good, nothing good will come of it.
leaving a partner, that happens.
leaving your children, scum.
on that needs more happy in life
my question is what kind of woman gets with a man whom is married with children and has no problem breaking up a family. selfish seems to kind of a word to describe them.
my dad's a pro. he left my mom for the other woman, married her, had another son, left her for the other woman, and married her. he'll stick with this one though. she's rich.
I knew someone got the girl who babysat his little sisters pregnant, married her, and then cheated on her with the girl who babysat their baby, got her pregnant, and left his wife to marry her, and then cheated with their babysitter, married her, and so on. When I met them, he was on wife number four, and cheating on her with their sitter, and his wife was surprised. She thought she would be the one who could change him. And yes, she did know his history.
sounds more like a fetish than just a behavior pattern.
I agree with sunnysmile. People are generally very quick to judge and label without knowing the full story. (I have neither been the other women, nor cheated, so don't go there;). There is an excellent article on what we're conditioned to believe in exchanging vows at a time when we've been indoctrinated to think we will still feel the same away in our later years, as we did holding flowers or boutinere on the alters of our earlier ones. Conceptually, it's insane, and the consequences of it are reflected in todays massive divorce rate. There is a rather flighty adage about marriage becoming a 'renewal' contract, set at various years; 5, 10, 20, etc. Perhaps that makes more sense. I have experienced the deep pain of being left for another (although we were not married), but when I look back, I see that we really were in eachothers lives to learn certain things, and forcing ourselves to adopt a false front for the benefit of societal rules would have left us deeply unhappy. I do feel sad for children who experience this, but I have to confess that I would have rather seen my parents happy and separate, than deeply miserable and together, the latter of which has affected me my entire life, and resulted in my mother's death from stress.
my mum and dad got divorce when i was 2 years and never saw my mum until i was 20 years. you will never understand them until you are married. it's not about right or wrong, it's about meeting the right person.
An unhappy man that is tired of a negative, unhappy wife & life. One that accidently discovers a bit of happiness someplace else.
What is the point of all this anecdotal mouthing off? Who has presented any evidence here? This is a complicated subject and nothing is served by simply expressing one's personal *opinions*
the kinx that want their kids to know that its ok to move on and that HAPPY parents are GOOD parents. why five your kids an unhappy marriage as a rolemodel? padents dont need to stay togerher to be amazinv CO PARENTS.
a man that you dont need
The kind with a Y chromosome. Given enough motivation, ANY man could be convinced to leave his wife.
Possibily one that is going through abuse at home physical ,sexual,mental and had a attempt on his life by their wife /partner and sent them to jail but the kids that would be plain out right trash cause if your man enough to make a baby your man enough to raise or help raise that child no excuesses none at all.A child is a gift from the God almighty and should be treated as such!
One who has no concern for what he is doing to the rest.of his family. It's happened to some of our friends, so I always think " I would never leave my family like that. If I did, it would end up being with a woman who would be gone as quickly as she came as soon as something went wrong." Then where would I be? Alone, thinking "I've just made a lot of enemies and hurt a lot of people that loved me."
all kinds of men do, some dont.