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Have you ever experienced talking to someone, and then he/she can't even look at you in the eyes? As for me Yes, I usually do! This somehow irritates me, and asking myself "why don't he/she looks me in the eye? Is there something wrong with me. Just curious about what you think on this kind of situation EP friends!
Eureka85 Eureka85 22-25, F 46 Answers Nov 23, 2011

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Severe Anxiety, Social Anxiety, Panic Attacks. We fear that the person we are speaking to will notice that we are having an Anxiety Attack so we tend to try not make eye contact but then we think 'Oh wait a min, they are going to think I'm a bit strange so we try little bits of eye contact' but then the Anxiety gets worse. Next time why dont you just ask the person why they are not looking you in the eye. If you asked me it would break the ice and I would say I have Social Anxiety and Anxiety Attacks and then when that's out there I will feel 90% more relaxed that you know and then you would understand. Please try this because people that suffer with Mental Health Problems are discriminated against and its not nice. Just ask and we will tell you gladly.

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Social anxiety. It is hard for me to look someone in the eye while they are speaking

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I wondered this about myself!! When I was younger, I had such a hard time when looking into a person's eyes. Especially if I was being interviewed for a job even though I knew how important that was. As I got older I realized, when I speak to someone I look at them then look away while speaking. I look at the persons eyes if they're speaking to me but can't always look into the persons eyes when I'm speaking & NO I'm not a liar :)

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It depends on the situation.<br />
A person can't look at you in the eyes because he/she may be lying.<br />
In romantic relationships is usually because that person is afraid to trust you!

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usually or either that they are severely hiding something.

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no to be honest when i want to hide something i look the person in the eyes and tell them a lie. In our day and time,simple body language us this is often manipulated by people to redirect to other feelings or shift focus from the point itself!!

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Some cultures view it as disrespectful to look others in the eye. Others may have social anxieties or may not be trusting of others. It's not their fault. They can't help it. To do so may cause them distress. Others prefer not to. They may view your conversion as not worth their time. This is an extremely unlikely as it is uncommon for people to drop their social mannerisms.<br />
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I, personally, tend to not look others in the eye. When I was younger, I was bullied heavily. An untrust of others grew on me. Eventually I grew out of that. I will look a person in the eyes if I want to show interest or make an impression, i.e. pretty girl or handshake. <br />
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I still prefer not to. I like just listen and take in the information. You can learn a lot about a person by looking into their eyes. I like to analyze people but I don't like them analyzing me. So I wear sunglasses so I can make eye contact without them making eye contact with me. Haha. Terminator 2, T-1000 style. It's something I picked up from police officers. They wear sunglasses so you can't see who, what, or where they at looking at. It gives them the advantage in any situation.

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Asperger!! Autism spectrum. It is hard for some people with Autism spectrum and Asperger syndrome to keep their concentration on the topic while looking you in the face. It is like asking them run your belly with one hand and pad your head at the same time while focusing on conversation. <br />
So if you are talking to a person who is engaged and has a conversation but looks like they are looking toward you but over your head or somewhere past you as they are otherwise engaged it is because of this. <br />
Shy people keep their head down and intermittently look up. <br />
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I have realized that once I understand the reason and keep my focus on the conversation I can actually not notice the eye contact and only stay focused on the topic. It takes some effort on my part but I know that it is heck of lot less harder for me to adjust than for the other person (specially the one with problem) to change behavior!!!!!

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No one has mentioned the notion that the reason they don't look you in the eye when speaking is because they find you UN-attractive , perhaps even repulsive. I say this because many people will not look me in the face when speaking and I have seen the same people look at others in the face when speaking to them. I know that I am not the most attractive guy; I have many wrinkles on my forehead and face; my eyes do not open at the same level... they appear uneven and therefore my face appears asymmetrical... among other things. Is this possible too?

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sorry but in relation to your description..I could say mine is okay...=)

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Well there you go! That should make you feel better!

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thanks BraveHelios...maybe i just dont have the guts.

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Social anxiety. I can't look people in the eyes because I have extremely low self conscious. It annoys you? How do you think the person feels. It's so frustrating when you can't look somebody in the eye, I should know. You feel so rude but yet you feel so self conscious.

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i do that too! don't worry some people are just shy or maybe if like someone specially who likes you will try to avoid eye contact cuz of course it'll make 'em blush, but to most some people like me cannot keep an eye contact 'cuz some are really shy to look straight at your eyes, you can all see it by their body language :)

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Well, I'm very shy and can't stand looking people in the eye whilst talking! I usually look down or glance a few times at their eyes but it just makes me feel uncomfortable. So that's why I don't :)

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I have strangers not be able to look at me. I'll go into a seminar and no one will look at me. I have not said a word, or spoken. It's happened quite a lot to me. I've been told it's intimidation, like in the wild, animals won't look at an another animal who is perceived as higher up on food chain. I was once in a writing class. No one would look at me accept for one woman. I asked her when we were alone, what is the deal with this class? She said, "you're the only one who can really write, so they are threatened by you." If you are talented or gifted, it might be that. Also when someone is attracted to you or is guilty, they can't look at you. Hope this helps.

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In some cultures, including some caribbean Island it's considered disrecptful to stare some one in the eyes while speaking to them. The Elders would refer to the children as facety for looking them in the eyes.<br />
It does not mean they are lying when they don't look you in the eyes.

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It's hard more me to look into people's eyes. It's not because I don't like them or I'm not interested in what they have to say. I'm a very nice person and I am very much interested. It's just sometimes I get nervous and I don't want the person to think I'm wierd for starring them down. But then again I've been through alot in my childhood and trust might be the reason why, although I really want to get to know people. It's just harder for some than others. You can't really judge that person unless you know thier motives behind their action. :)

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it because he or she cares for you

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Fear, or shame - of not being good enough, - of seeing rejection in the other person's eyes.

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I have aspergers, but some people cant stare into my eyes cause ive been told they look emotionless , fearsome & just plain lucidity inducing

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shy people rarely look you in the eye

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People are unnerved by my eyelenses. They prefer to look at my tracks.

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Sometimes I don't look people in the eyes . There are times I really have to force myself to have eye contact due to being nervous.<br />
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If your a hot guy, I blush uncontrollably!

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well ! of the many reasons can be a guilty conscience you know how they say the eyes are the window to the soul so in someones eyes you can see really whats going on now me personally i do look at someone directly in their eyes only when im speaking the truth or its an instense situation or when im mad etc but on the other if im conversating with someone thats false talk **** behind my back i dont bother looking at them since i have to hear them out i just turn to the side and give them my ear and when they done blah blah i walk away people like that dont deserve my full attention anyways

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