A broken wing, of course.

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Anal glocoma! I can't see my *** coming to work!

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Love it!

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you found an injured womble on your way and had to stop to tend to the poor thing

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I was looking everywhere for my medication to control MY VIOLENT TEMPER TANTRUMS<br />
:-P

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Someone rear ended you. Pun not intended lol

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Your toilet backed up and flooded your bathroom

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diarrhea.

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The earwig in the sugar jar ate the spider in the box of weetabix and I had to attend to the burial and find an alternative breakfast.

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BOSS! I am totally sober tweaking out in this site EP. I KNOW I know the king is dead. But this site is live and kickn my *** in control. BUT I GOT THIS! IT WONT HAPPEN AGAIN! ITS ME! I AM NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE.. I got this.. THIS TIME IT WILL BE DIFFERENT. LET'S JUST STICK THE TIP IN SEE HOW IT FEELS, WANNA TRY? C'MON... EVERYONES DOING IT!

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you locked yourself out of the house.. broke glass to get teh car keys..(put a couple cuts on the arm) if you have a cellphone take battery out and say you tried to call.. and take air out of spare tire in the trunk in case they ask about the flat tire story. Or just be like me.. and say you slept in and will be an hour late

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My Aids was playing up again.

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