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My ex bf and I dated seriously for 8 months. He was my first but I definitely wasn't his(he was a HUGE player for a long long long time). Supposedly I was the first girl he was ever in a serious relationship with and in love with- or so he and his family told me. We talked about possibly getting married when we turn 25, he brought it up not me. He is 22 and I am 21 this year. He broke up with me about 2 months ago but has continued to contact me since then on and off usually when he's drunk (therefore vulnerable). A week after the break up he called me extremely emotional and drunk, I went over and we slept together, the next morning I wanted to talk about it but he didn't want to and that he was confused so I went home. After that night I deleted him off fb and he texted me all mad about it and then I called him and basically we agreed to be 'friends' with benefits. After that we continually contacted each other via phone calls and texts at inappropriate hours- but I didn't sleep with him again. After a while I couldn't handle being in contact with him while things were so 'up in the air' and decided to give him all of his stuff back bc I wanted to try to move on with my life. he got mad that I tried to do this and asked me if I hated him, then he asked me if I was sleeping with someone else) and got all defensive/angry and told me that he was a good bf to me when we were together and accused me of making him seem like the bad guy to my friends and family when I hadn't said anything bad about him to them I just had been super depressed about it. I got into a bad car accident (I could've died but luckily escaped with just a concussion and a few bruises) and he found out about it, he called me to find out if I was ok straight away (like 2 seconds after my relative who he also has on fb mentioned it) and said that if I needed to talk to someone to just call/text him (my family and I don't really talk about anything serious). After the accident I got really upset bc he was the first person i wanted to call the second the accident happened bc I hadn't heard from him before for a few days so I was afraid he didn't care about me anymore and therefore might have moved on. I contacted him 2/3 days after the accident and then we met up to talk- he picked me up from my house. I just really wanted a hug from him and to talk about our situation, we talked for a long time and I aired all my issues about 'our situation' with him and told him i was still in love with him and want to be with him, while he told me that though he cares about me alot he doesn't love me anymore, I need to move past my issues about 'us' and that he just wants to stay friends- so i told him that i need more time and that i need him to stop contacting me if he's going to just lead me on and give me false hope but he refused to give me those 2 things. I asked him if he ever wants to be with me and he said that he doesn't know but if he was going to be with anyone it would be with me and repeated that if we were older (25) he would've married me already. I decided to not contact him for 2/3 weeks bc I couldn't handle it anymore. During this time he didn't contact me for 2 weeks and then contacted me 3 times via text at odd hours and then called me 6 times in one day at an odd hour. He even messaged my relative on fb asking them to tell me to call him because it's really important. I called him that day, like an hour later and he started saying all this stuff to me- like that he's been thinking about 'us' and that he misses me, he asked me all these questions- am i seeing anyone? sleeping with anyone? have i moved on? where i was? what i've been doing lately? why he hasn't heard from me in a while? why have i not be responding to his texts/calls? etc.. he even threatened to bash the s*$t out of any guys who have asked me out/hit on me since the break-up. He said that he wanted to meet up with me the next day to discuss 'something with me' that's not bad it's good and I reluctantly agreed. He ended up cancelling- i think he was going to ask for me back- to be his gf again but he probably got scared that i would reject him or that he wouldn't be able to live up to what he said to me the other night. I called him that day we were meant to meet up and tried to get him to tell me over the phone what he wanted to tell me in person today but he lied and said that there's nothing he wanted to say and that he just wants to see me more. What should I do? Should I give him more time to decide what he wants with me? or Should I just confront him again? or Should I end things with him now? I can't handle being his friend I otherwise want to never see him again or to be with him for a long time/get married eventually. Is our relationship worth another go or not?
readingbabe readingbabe 18-21 3 Answers Oct 9, 2011

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No. He sounds like he needs to do some major growing up, and he just wants you around for the day that he makes up his mind. I have a friend who has been on and off and on with a guy for the last twelve years. And when he calls her, she's all, "Do you think he misses me? Why do you think he called today? Why was he asking if I was seeing anyone else?" On and on. He contacts her, stirs her up a bit, gives her a little attention, and then drops off the earth again for a while. It's like he is just showing up long enough to make sure she's still there and that her fire is stoked. Then he puts her on that backburner and goes back to his life. <br />
How many years of your time and wonderment are you going to give this guy?

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I have been in your shoes. If you haven't broke contact, please do it now. It only gets worse. Actions speak louder than words. I wasted a decade on a guy like this. I will never get that time back, I have missed out on great relationships, and probably would have been married with kids by now.
Don't waste your time on guys like this! Save yourself the pain and heartache!!

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