What should i do about my sister.

Asked By: Matheau2246 22-25 2 months ago

Me and my sister have become estranged. I've moved out of the house and on to Grad-School and my little sister has been left behind at my parents house. On a recent trip back home we got into an argument and my father tried to settle it. Some of the key points from my sisters wailing and unintelligible babbling were, "He's just mad because for once i'm happy and he never has been", "I haven't had a brother for a long time", and "The few times he's showed that he cares for me can't prove that he loves me". Now my sister has a history of suicidal tendencies and chemical imbalances, and she is prone to selective memory. I didn't justify any of her claims with a response at the time because she's a hormone addled teenager with mental instability and i really don't want to have anything to do with her until she grows up and realizes how the world actually works. However this notion upsets my parents who just want us to get along. If you have any questions please ask and i will respond.

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7 Answers to "What should i do about my sister."

Posted by petiterebel Mar 4th, 2013 at 6:27AM

Since you're older, and much more wiser, you should just leave her. Don't confront her, just avoid her for a while. When you go back to visit, get her a present. Not something that she's wanted for ages, or something materialistic, something sentimental. Then avoid her. Then get her something else, and TRY to make small talk. Gradually build up happy conversation, stop with the presents, and you guys will be good again. Its not an over night process, it will eventually happen though. For it to take full effect you must NOT fight. Which is why you should avoid her for a while, you need to... Start fresh. In a way.

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Reply by Matheau2246 Mar 4th, 2013 at 6:29AM

Thank you, that's very helpful advice
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Reply by petiterebel Mar 4th, 2013 at 6:33AM

Any time :) I'm pretty experienced. I grew up with a twin. A brother twin. A GAY brother twin. When gays are annoyed, or agitated, they go freaking mental haha. We used to have the most vicious arguments, ignore each other. At one stage I thought this was it. We were never going to form a loving, sibling relationship. However, we did, and now we're better than ever. It needs to thunder if there is going to be a rainbow.
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Posted by MajorPissed Mar 4th, 2013 at 7:00AM

Have her put to sleep.
No...seriously some people can't tolerated until they grow up.
Try to be civil , but don't fall for or put up with any bs.

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Posted by monah Mar 4th, 2013 at 6:43AM

Well dont you contact her even if you moved out ? Well Think about the age shes at and what shes going through :) Be more considerate to her feelings and be helpful and understanding. Try to bond more with her so these arguments become mature discussions. And best of all show her that you love her that will soften anyones heart and be patient teeens can be so hyper and so emotionell... Give her time to calm down and then just go from there build a bond. When my siblings argue we Always tell out parents that its nothing big or dramatic lol and in that moment we have formed an allians when trying to convince our parents lol and from now where we just laugh it of ....

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Reply by Matheau2246 Mar 4th, 2013 at 6:54AM

I have been forever tolerant of my sisters emotions and tried to be sensitive to her feelings. I need an answer about what i can do to get through a time when my parents demand that i get along with a selfish, shortsighted, imbalanced girl who considers the one person she has scarred the most throughout the years the one person she owes nothing to and who she need not care exist, and the two people who have always given her everything she wanted and needed as selfish
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Reply by Matheau2246 Mar 4th, 2013 at 6:56AM

you...have no idea
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Posted by rudyboo Mar 4th, 2013 at 6:41AM

I hope I don't offend you with my thoughts but could your sister have been abused? She sounds like she really needs you. That is not your responsibility though - teenage girls are (generally) emotionally unstable; it's the nature of the beast i'm afraid. Don't avoid contact with ther though. She will grow up....but when she's ready not when you are. You need to find a way of coping with her behaviour whilst letting her know you don't find it acceptable and let her know that when she can act civil towards you then you are, as always, there for her.
My advice comes as a mother who was once a wayward teen and who had a wayward teen. I have written a story about my daught...have a read

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Reply by Matheau2246 Mar 4th, 2013 at 6:44AM

No thank you on the read, but i thank you for the advice. And no she was not abused, granted i was always on her case about her behavior. Our parents are the two most loving individuals who always want the best for us and provided us with all we needed. I was mean to my sister throughout the years, but the majority of times when i was mean was in retaliation to her abuse of me during our younger years. When i reached my teenage years and later my adult life i stopped being mean and just avoided her outright unless she was having a problem or needed help with something. She would never accept my help unless i lied to her and made her believe i was on her side and not my parents side, because yes there is always a side when it comes to her
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Reply by Matheau2246 Mar 4th, 2013 at 6:48AM

she's had 23 phones, broken by her and replaced by her parents. Most of the phones were upgrades that my parents were saving to get me a new phone when my old piece of **** one expired, so im still using a verizon chocolate. She's had two cars, one which she wrecked, me and my dad fixed, then she totaled a month later, they bought her another two weeks later. Both accidents her fault. My parents buy her hair dyes, fancy makeup, designer clothes, they got her a dog after i moved out despite their adamant refusal to ever get her another dog since they ended up taking care of her old one. They put up with her whining and groaning and do it with love and civility. I've matured to realize that my paren'ts are saints to us, she however ******* whenever she can't go to her boyfriends at 3am, and talks about how she wants to go live with out aunt (the drunk)
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Posted by BabzEsq24 Mar 4th, 2013 at 6:34AM

She's not well and you know that. Try not to blame her for your estrangement. It's like asking a man with no legs to dance; she's just not able and it is not intentional behavior

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Reply by Matheau2246 Mar 4th, 2013 at 6:35AM

I don't blame her, i know that she has yet to mature. My anger towards the situation is my inability to do anything to help without her assuming i'm doing it to harm. Do you have any actual advice as to what i need to do?
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Reply by BabzEsq24 Mar 4th, 2013 at 6:39AM

You are frustrated more than anything, sounds like. You cannot teach a pig to sing; it wastes your time and annoys the pig. Check with your parents how she's doing and send regards for now. She has a lot on her plate and may never recover to a point of relationship with you. Advice- Let it be
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Posted by easternshorebuzz Mar 4th, 2013 at 6:30AM

Love. Patience. Caring. Communication. Time.
It takes 2 to fight.

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Reply by Matheau2246 Mar 4th, 2013 at 6:31AM

that is an awful answer
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Reply by Matheau2246 Mar 4th, 2013 at 6:32AM

twas not a fight, twas an emotional girl slinging her opinions on how "I" think and how she thinks "I" handle situations, despite not knowing me at all beyond my name and my favorite foods
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Posted by Adstars Mar 4th, 2013 at 6:28AM

My sister went that way and it only took a few weeks to go from a wonderful and loving sister to a totally screwed up depressed and rejecting everyone state. I could do noting about it. from 14 to 22 she was a walking disaster.

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Reply by Matheau2246 Mar 4th, 2013 at 6:33AM

im sorry to hear that, it is difficult
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Reply by Adstars Mar 4th, 2013 at 6:34AM

Yeah i lost the little sister that i loved.
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