What should I do?
This guy is from not-a-good family. His father married 3 times in his life and made his wives life hell! All the other relatives are not that much literate ( out of high school means PHD :D ) This guy is the youngest of his second wife. His mother is a nice lady and have a good educational background ( Masters). Two other step brothers (from his father's 1st wife) are not nice and are involved in bad company. His elder brother is not bad but a bit slow and somewhat depends on him financially. This guy is hardworking and nice gentleman. Good to his parents and is interested in marrying me. He had been involved in 4 relationships before ( he told me about those relationships). On the other hand, I like him but don't love him like "that". I am also from a family with a "cruelest" father ever. And my people are also loveless but far better from his side and more literate.
PS: Plz,don't suggest talking to a friend as I have tried it all. And they think he is the right guy.
What should i d
3 Answers to "What should I do?"
Posted by chescakes Sep 4th, 2011 at 6:33AM
I think what you have to do is you need to settle. Settle in a way that have an own circle. Fulfill everything that is asked from you outside the circle and then once everything is quiet and at peace, I think it's the best time to settle.
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Posted by SelangorNight Sep 2nd, 2011 at 3:37AM
His poor quality family should not stand in the way if you really loved this guy and wanted to be with him for the rest of your life. But to marry 'nice, hardworking gentleman' whom you .'like' is definitely not worth inheriting a family from Hell.
It is a recipe for disaster
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Posted by Kalena09 Sep 2nd, 2011 at 3:03AM
Listen to your own heart and your head, not your friends hearts and heads (and I am assuming that most of these friends are around your age). Forget most of what you said above and look at the one thing that LEAPS out, like red flags waving at you. You said: I like him but don't love him like "that."' You answered your own question. Marriage is hard enough when two people are head over heels in love. The honeymoon period does wear off and if you don't "love him like that," you will be positioning yourself for more heartache and frustration than you can imagine, not to mention if kids may be involved (there's always that chance). Any negatives that are already surrounding him would take on mountainous proportions and through those eyes, you will start seeing more negatives in him. Don't marry him because you feel sorry for him, because Anyone tells you that you should, to get away from your situation, or any other reason except that you are madly in love with him and can't imagine life without him. Do you think he wants anything less. Why should you 'settle' and also 'saddle' him with someone that feels the way you do. He deserves to have someone that truly loves him, just as you deserve to find love instead of just settling because he's there and you can. A person changes a lot at 25 and older. Right now you should be focusing on making yourself into who and what you want to be (education, job, friends, etc...) Enjoy your youth and time. Once married, that's where your commitment should be. It's harder than it looks, so don't go into it lightly.
--Something else I wanted to add...sounds like you are also running from something...but you need to look at what you are running to. Plan your future and go for your goals and dreams-take action toward them; don't just fall into a life because it's convenient. (also regarding Sawdust's answer: your guy's circumstance is different...he's got a handicap brother that he's helping care for; they do become your family and he and you will be affected by decisions regarding them all...so if the marriage is a weak one to begin with, that's where the frustration and resentment start to grow...it's not fair to any involved).
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Reply by Kalena09 Sep 2nd, 2011 at 11:44AM
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