What the hell am I doing? HELP!!!!!?

Okay...unlike the answer preceding mine, I will not be so rude...Geesh...


You feel really bad (like sh*t, as you put it), because you love the person you are with and you betrayed her....you had promised her that you wouldn't do anything with her, unless you were both there....and you broke that promise to her.....I would worry about you if you didn't feel like crap....At least by you feeling bad....it shows you have a conscience....

I think there is an element of "wanting what is forbidden"....you know you shouldn't be with her....yet, you are tempted....there's nothing wrong with being tempted....it's what you do after that, that's the problem....

If you go through with seeing her again....just know, there will come a time when Lisa is going to find out.....is bad sex, and a weak will power worth losing her? Maybe the one you are tempted by, offers you something, consciously or sub-consciously, that Lisa doesn't? Maybe you are bored?

If you really love Lisa, you need to stop this fling.....and I wouldn't mention it to her....she may not be able to get over it....Just learn from it....after all, you don't want to go around feeing "sh*tty" all the time.....

It all boils down, to what's more important to you.....lousy sex with someone....or the relationship you are in, with someone you love....

Take care.

I have to say, I tend to agree more with Scully than Unicorn59. You messed up. You need to tell Lisa about this. To hide it from her would be to wrong her all over again, and to set yourself up for a huge fight later on. If you love her, REALLY love her, you will tell her. Who knows--she might forgive you! If you are truly sorry, and promise to work on the relationship with Lisa, she may give you another chance. Or she might not. Either way, she deserves to know, and it would be completely immoral to keep this from her.

You seem confused. You need to take some time to look objectively at your options.

Since you're not yet married and you're already cheating you have to seriously consider whether you should go ahead with the marriage. Cheating when you're married is much worse than cheating when you're engaged IMO.

If you really love her as much as you say, you wouldn't have betrayed her trust. It is as simple as that. When you love someone like you should if your getting married to them then you should be able to resist all urges. You have now put yourself at risk of not only loosing the woman you love but also breaking her heart which is the cruelest thing one can do to another person. You feel horrible because you should. It proves that some where inside you there is remnants of a conscious.

Well,for starters,you better hope she never reads your post!You put your pic on here,dummy!(if it's really you) Next,you have 2 choices,tell her the truth and hope for forgiveness or run like a coward and feel guilty the rest of your life.You'll be hurting her either way.If you really do feel bad,tell her the truth,begging and crawling!

well obviously, dont do it again... and dont see her again until these urges stop. everyone makes mistakes, i dont kno the circumstances, so i cant tell u if u shud tell ur partner or not, that is up to you, altho i think an honest aproach is always the best, jst not the easiest... gl for u in the future

if you have urges to continue this affair then obviously you should not marry Lisa, nor do you love her as much as you think you do (if you want to continue this affair). on the other hand, if you are ready to end this affair, all you can do is never **** up again. esp when you are married. just evaluate yourself and decide what really matters.

your hormone driven just dont hurt anyone ....

you may have to sacrifice a few things but happiness is totaly up to you live one life and care for those you say you love

peace

WightCrow is right. If she ever finds out, even thirty years from now, she will probably leave you for not only cheating, but lieing to her for all those years. The trust will be destroyed. It is better to tell her now and work on building your trust back rather then waiting until it is to late.

Stop beating yourself up about it! Everyone makes mistakes! My advice is: Stay away from her! She is a swinger and if your not into that its best to stay away otherwise you will only get hurt in the end and your fiancee as well. You had bad sex with her so it isnt the bad sex you want, its something else that your not getting from your fiance. You mentioned that you had alot in common, maybe you need to step back and take a look at your current relationship cause if you dont have anything in common with her then its time to move on otherwise you may continue to look for whatever it is your really looking for with another person. Good Luck!

Talk about self-sabotage, and self-loathing. Tell your partner how badly you ****** up to give her the opportunity to choose whether to stay engaged to someone who could do that and wants to again.

I agree that you are not ready for the commitment however en vogue it may be right now. Or continue to live the lie, protect yourself from the shame/embarrassment of owning responsibility for your actions and keep your partner oblivious, only to find you doing it again at a later date since you're too young to be committed for life to another. She deserves better.