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i have a really abusive friend i really like him but he treats me like **** and hates me i dont know what to do and i really dont want us to have a fight every time we see each other any advice out there im sure it would be helpfull ?
tntbubbly tntbubbly 13-15, F 11 Answers Mar 3 in Dating & Relationships

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stay away for a while and see if things improve

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Demand respect las.

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abusive people are at war with themselves and they justify their actions because of it. If your friend is abusive towards you, then you must stay away from him during those moments; only when you make it clear what is acceptable and what is not, will he learn from his ways.

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Stay away , end of discussion

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Nothing good comes from abusive relationships and once you're in them it's extremely hard to get out. Stay far away from toxic people, hope for them to change is sometimes a bad thing so face reality as early as possible

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Human relationships (romantic relationships, friendships, familial relationships, etc.) are all ba<x>sed on equality. It's a give and take. The most healthy relationships are ones where you give a lot to the other person and receive a lot in return and it is perfectly balanced.<br />
This situation of yours sounds like you are probably the one giving plenty and your friend isn't giving quite as much. This is not a healthy relationship, it is not an equal relationship. It isn't fair to you. The plain and simple truth is if he is "abusive" to you then he is an absolute sh*t friend, isn't he? No matter how you cut it, he's not a very good friend to you.<br />
My question would be, has he always been like this? Is he maybe going through something? Or has he always been kind of like this? Has it always been a little bit this way? Because if this is caused by something specific, maybe you can be there for him to help him work through it (if you want to. There is no shame at all in turning your back on him if he is being a jerk, no matter what the reason).<br />
Lastly, when you say you really like him, do you mean you like him as a friend or do you LIKE him? Because when we like another person (or especially when we're in love), we tend to let them get away with murder, sometimes even letting them walk all over us. If you do have a crush on him and this is the case, it's probably best that you just walk away all together from the situation for a while. Wait for your feelings for him to fade a bit and then re-analyze the situation. If you don't feel as strongly for him, you'll be able to see the situation more ob<x>jectively. (But again, this whole last paragraph hinges on the idea you have romantic feelings for him. If you do not, then you can basically ignore it. :P )

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he is abused at home and he is depresssed and cutts him self im trying to help him with his situation at home my mum is helping me but he dousent see it i mean thats what he says all my other friends see it he pays attention to everything i do comments on everything trying to make me sound stupid bites me sometimes and throws things at me and ocasinaly hits me

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So then he really is fairly abusive. If it ever gets too much for you to handle, you can walk away. It's not like you'd be a bad person for doing so.

But short of leaving him as a friend, perhaps you can get him to see a counsellor? Or just any person who deals with this sort of thing for a living. You know, a professional. Someone better equipped to help him than you.
Also, it occurs to me, baring in mind I'm no where near a pro at this have basically only have a psych 101 education in the matter, that he may be lashing out at you in an attempt to push away perhaps the only person to stick by him. If this is the case, I figure it would be somewhere in the same family as cutting himself. Self harming.

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i didnt quite understand the last 2 sentences abiut the lashing out

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Recognize this is not a friend. You deserve to be treated with respect, which is what real friends do.

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stay away from abusive people!!<br />
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If you need to be near abusive people, stay assertive. Call it out when it happens, "You didn't treat me respectfully". "I don't like it when you say that"..... just like with bullies, you need to ensure they start to feel uncomfortable with their bad behaviour.

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Find New friend. That what I do.

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You should find someone who isn't an idiot. When you get with someone who treats you right, you'll realize it was never love at all.

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