I put up with that for 30 years. I believe in 'til death do us part and tried everything: support, devotion, extra love, tolerance, finding my own in home activities, working more, etc. and it never changed. I just gave up and am ready for divorce. And do you know what he said?? "You waited too long"! So I'm going and as fast as I can. Don't waste your time...he wants his cake and to eat it, too. Run now.
Confront him - No
Wait for him to change - Nah
Get another husband - Yessss
Maybe you should do something to shake him up a little. Take up a new hobby or activity that gets you out of the house, or do something different with your hair. If nothing else, it'll make you feel better. After that, if he doesn't sit up and take notice, you might want to follow shemmy's advice.
My two cents:
1) Are you sure he is ignoring you? Maybe he just has a different personality than you. Maybe he isn't ignoring you but his attention is on different things.
2) Don't beg for his attention- engage him where he is at. Be interested in the things he is interested in too.
How long has this been going on?
Did something major happen?
Is this all of a sudden, or slowly over time?
You're young...perhaps you dn't really know him as well as you thought you did....It takes months to uncover someone's real personality....maybe this is who he is....
This happened to me....At first he was wonderful...then, little at a time, it faded....he seemed distant...not engaging....withdrawn.....
He has Borderline Personality Disorder...and it's pretty typical of the disorder, I guess....
So, do you keep on trying? Do you waste your life, trying to get his attention? No....But, if you haven't tried anything, yet, you don't just go get another guy....
Get to the bottom of the reason....you need to talk to him....If he refuses....then, he backed out on the deal, first....and you need to lay you cards on the table...Life's too short for this crap.
Take his credit cards and go shopping. My husband is always hugging on me in the morning and is trying to get me to agree that I love him.
my brother-in-law want me to write:
slap him in the head and break his laptop!
I agree with Arolea...sometimes people need a little wake up call to realize they're taking someone for granted...so ignore him back, don't beg for his attention, act like you don't need it and chances are he'll come looking for you wanting your attention...
In my experience..they are so needy of attention, the whole world revolve around them. On the laptop they think they get attention. In real life the woman need to bed backwards and admire and prais him doing nada in a relationship, except suck the life out of his spouse. Confront him and you'll get more silence and no cooperation. You loose your patience or temper of days and hours of this selfcentered behaviour and he will point fingers at your behaviour, him having done 'nothing' to cause this.
Ignore him back ? He will your life hell, threaten and even numerous times for divorce.
These men are very insecure, childlike and unreliable. Does it sound like a soul mate/life partner you want to share you adult life with?
I guess the first step is to find out WHY he is ignoring you. There could be many reasons. Most men do this because they are ANGRY at you. Its a form of passive-aggression.
There seem to be alot of angry husbands around these days. I have my own theory about this...
There is an author called Shirliy Glass and she wrote a book about affairs called Not Just Friends. Her research proved that the most affair prone marriages are "kid-centered" ones.
I personally know of alot of marriages in crisis or that have ended in divorce that were or are kid-centered. If yours is like this maybe this could be the reason he is angry.
Another reason alot of men are angry...and alot of women aren't going to like this but its the truth...trust me, I've been told this by lots of guys, is that their wives have let themselves go and gained alot of weight.
Yes, I know now YOU are probably angry but this is why alot of men are ignoring their wives, sexually and otherwise.
And combine the two...fat wife and kid-centered home and you have a doube whammy.
If you don't beleive me take your own survey. You will have to ask men who are not going to be afraid you will tell their wives. They don't want to be murdered in their
Hope this helps. SM
I think you should tell him how you are feeling. Be direct and to the point. Don't waste anymore time on this.
I was married for 20 years raised 3 boys on my own. One day I looked at my husband and knew he could never change and I was ok with that. I didn't want to wake up at 65 and say where did my life go. It was hard to leave but I knew there was something missing.
I am finding my own way alone. But I am doing what I want to do for me. Finding new interests making friends and doing it my way for a change. Learning that it is not my fault that things weren't going to change. We both needed to change and he didn't want to.