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My husband works full time and I work part time. We have two kids, 6yrs & 7 months old. We recently deceided to start a home based business and still keep our jobs. I already have little time b/c of my job and the kids but he gets so mad with me when I forget about things with the business. He always says that I just don't want the business to succeed. I need him to understand my point. When he gets mad, he ignores me for days and tries to stay at work and work overtime. When he works overtime he gets home at 11pm and I'm already asleep. This makes everything worse. We also haven't had sex in nearly 2 weeks. I feel this business is really driving us apart. I want the business and my marriage to work but I don't know if it's possible. I feel hopeless and I don't know what to do...
beyonceknowles beyonceknowles 26-30, F 19 Answers Sep 17, 2009

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you bloody work part time and have a 6 yr old and a bubs of 7 months. I think your husband is expecting a little too much from you.



doesn't he realize just how much time a 6 year old and a baby take up. They don't magically feed, clothe and get themselves ready for bed themselves do they. Your husband needs to realize that.

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Tell your husband to stop pouting like a baby.



I would go up to him...tell him that you need to talk and talk to him either when the kids are asleep or have someone watch the kids and talk during dinner.



When you get to actually talk. Explain to him that you want this business to work, however, there needs to be a better plan. Be honest and explain how this is overwhelming for you. Maybe you can hire a responsible teen in the are that can watch the kids for a couple of hours while you catch up. They charge cheap and you will have your sanity.



I would also tell your husband how it bothers you when he goes into his pouting fits.....tell him to grow up. If he has a problem, tell him to talk to you about it instead of ignoring you. How old is he?

Good luck!

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leave him in charge of kids and home and business for one full day, leave early in the morning don't come home til late at night. Be available by phone if needed, go have a full day to yourself. Maybe that will give him a taste of just what you do in a dayand give him some insight into how hard it can be. When you get home tell him to stop the tanties, and work with you if he wants to suceed. You cannot do it all and he is a selfish *** for thinking you have it easy. You work just as if not harder than him at the moment, he needs to realise this and thank-you for it. Take a stand hon.

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Oh but looking after kids is easy! that doesn't count! Thats what men think.



I have a 7 month old and i do NOT work, if i did... i would be pulling hair out.



You are one amazing women to be doing what you are doing.



Men have so much trouble seeing past their own noses sometimes.



Honestly, if you can't talk to him about it, is it the sort of relationship you want to be in? It's so hard to tell them how we feel and putting in the right words so that they understand.



But all i can think of is to talk to him about it. If he can't be mature enough to talk it through, then there's obviously underlying issues.



best of luck

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When my husband became self employed it wrecked our marriage. Now all he cares about is money and success.If I had known this I would have discouraged him as it has not brought us money or happiness. I know how you feel it sucks!

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Communicate. Tell him you didn't intend any harm. Ask for forgiveness and try to improve the situation. If your memory is bad, write things down, Make to do lists or checklists. My short term memory is sometimes bad, and I have come to realize it and have had to compensate for it. I carry a pocket calender//date book which I call "My Pocket Brains" and for a good reason, but My Pocket Brains make me much more efficient and effective. I couldn't live without them any more. That;s how important they are to me, And I know they help me tremendously. Try it. For a few buck$, it may help you.

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Just accept him the way he is, or leave.

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I sympathise with you. Unfortunately many women are in your position and anyone with children will have had similar experiences.

The first thing you need to do is to sit down and talk to him when he is feeling O.K. and not rushing about or under alot of stress. Explain to him how important it is and that you need to communicate how you are feeling. Suggest this exercise to him: Write 2 lists each. In the first one list everything that is making you feel happy about your relationship and in the second evrything that is making you feel unhappy. Lists are good because you can really think about what you want to say and you are not drawn into arguing. Then think of how you both can solve these things. Don't forget to listen to him carefully. If anger arises make sure that you deal with it in the right way. Gael Lindenfields 'Managing Anger' is a great book. It gives loads of tips including how to deal with someone elses anger, not raising the tone of your voice, using body language appropriately, how to talk assertively, methods like the 'stuck record' where you repeat yourself over again in a calm way, accepting your own resposibilities for things, empathising with the other person, walking away if it gets too heated etc. There are lots of sentence examples of how to say what you want without getting an angry reation. I'm sure there is something similar on the internet. 'It is not what you say, it is the way that you say it'

Good luck!

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If any of us knew how to make a relationship work, the divorce rate wouldn't be so high. I'm having trouble with my marriage at the moment too--I feel bitter and hopeless and desperate.



Hope yours works out...mine isn't looking promising.

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let him read what you just wrote.. and then tell him how much you love him.

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Put him on some Xanax. He needs to chill out.

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Your husband is acting like a spoilt child when he doesnt get his way by ignoring you and avoiding you i.e. sulking. He needs to grow up and realise that you working half day and being a mom is hard work, if not harder work that his job entials. Looks like he doesnt see you as an equal and sees himself as superior to you. Have you thought of putting the kids in day care and then you will have more time to focus on the business & have that little bit of time for yourself too.



Your husband needs to start appreciating and valuing all that you do for him & the family. He's being very selfish. and only seeing what and how hard things are for him, instead of looking outside his own issues.

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