I have dealt with this for many years (I'm 50). I finally realized that sometimes people (one or both) need a break from each other ... it doesn't have to be anymore complicated than that.<br />
I have come to the opinion that in all long term friendships, especially those that had developed very deep bonds over time, people start to develop unspoken expectations of one another. <br />
You know, always being invited to everything they do or the expectation of being their bridesmaid or best man or "whatever" .... <br />
Sometimes, a break like we are talking about is away of rebooting a friendship, in the same way we reboot our computer. It's a way of clearing out some expectations one or both of you don't want to have anymore. It's sad but it's true, even with best friends .. people change.You understand what I mean? <br />
The problem is, sometimes this can be a feeling a person has and not even realize it. Which is why they "may" not want to talk to you about it. All they know is the feeling manifests itself in pushing you away and that makes them feel bad. Which is why you can actually make things worse if you pursue this too hard.<br />
So the best advice I can give you is this:<br />
Ask them if everything is okay? <br />
OR <br />
Is there something bothering them? <br />
OR <br />
Have you done something to offend them? <br />
If they say everything is fine, then you need to let it go and move on.<br />
The worse thing you could do is to try to force a discussion on something they either don't want to talk to you about or really don't have a reason they can articulate.<br />
Yes I'm going to resort to an old cliche, because as is true for most cliches, there are pearls of wisdom in most of them: <br />
"If you love someone, set them free .... "<br />
You need to respect their choice for wanting their space, for whatever their reasons are. Then you go on with your life and do what you need to do, without them.
This happened to me. Our communication stopped, for what they say was 10 years. Over that time I reached out, but they did not reply. This past holiday I went to see one of my bestfriends that ignored me, and we talked. She gave me her phone number, and now we are working through those "never answered/always wondered" questions. It's hard, but I feel she deserves it. I hope we become better bestfriends than we were. I say pray and leave it to HIM. Even at this stage we are in, I let her know that I'll be here, through her anger, happiness or confusion. I'm not going anywhere. That is my promise and I mean it. It does hurt, but I believe if two people want something, they will do it. Hopefully our situation will turn out positively - I pray it does.
I have stopped talking to two people in my life in response to their maltreatment of me and to protect myself from any more of that. One called me recently after a 2 year break- I was polite but I know I most likely won't initiate contact anymore as she made no mention of what she had done and she was already lecturing me about other things. The other was an xbf, he went crazy on me and then tortured me making me think he was going to come back to me only to ignore me when he found someone else yet again or if he didn't want to address what happened and I pressed him to do that. I stopped contact due to being afraid of what to expect with his unstable behavior and his need to ignore how he traumatized me. I also had tons of stuff happening. He contacted again after ignoring my request that we talk about what happened for several months and there still has been no acknowledgement of anything, but I suspect he has ended another relationship and is lonely, so he sees me as a possibility as did my other friend, she only contacts me when she wants something for herself, at the time she abandoned me I was going through my breakup and she really didn't want to be there for me unless I concealed how horrible I was feeling. I have ignored him up till now but I probably will speak to him at some point. I think it is better to talk it out, but sometimes you do have to protect yourself from all the drama so as not to have more pain. After a while you just get sick of getting jerked around over and over by narcissistic people.
You go! And tell my sister that I did the same thing and that her rudeness will bite her in the butt
Posted by CreepyChristie12
This also happened to me too this summer. My bestfriend for 6 years stopped talking to me out of no where and I, initially, started to blame myself. I tried to think of every possible thing I did wrong, but in the end, I realized I had done nothing. You must understand, people are always subject to change, good or bad, and no matter how much we want them back, there's nothing we can do. People kept telling me the same thing, to just "move on." But how do you move on from someone you were so close to, someone who gave you so many memories, someone you thought you could go to for anything? And, recently, I realized the answer was quite simple: time. In time, once you being to realize that there are other people who truly care about you, who will be there for you no matter what, the process is much easier and less painful. So to answer your question, if this best friend of yours is someone who really cares about you, they will come back into your life in their own time. Don't seem too clingy, because that just drives them away. If, unfortunately, you and your friend do not talk things out, I suggest you take into consideration an old saying I once heard: "Good things fall apart, but that just leaves room for better things to come together." Hope everything works out for you in the end.
This helped me a lot , thank you
If they stop talking to you and it's for no reason then either say " 'ey pal, what's your problem?, I did nothing to you." or ask "Why are you ignoring me?", or give them a taste of their own medicine by ignoring them for no reason when they say something to you, then they'll learn that being a butt will bite them in the butt, and then it'll be way less likely that they'll mess with you and try to play games with you by being a brat by ignoring you for no reason. If they ignore you for no reason, either embarass the juice out of them or warn them that you'll ignore them for 2 weeks (Note: The first choice is better, because not only are you still listening to them but they'll never ever try to pull ANY stuff with you ever again.) If they stop every possible contact, either tell them, "Something's up, and if you don't tell me I'll ask your dad", or tell them, "Hey, tommorow at school, I'll see what's going on here, then I can figure it out" or sigh to them "Mmmm, fine then, but blame me when trouble comes".
Ive been ignoring my friends for 4 days now cause they dont accept me and anyways no one does but im fine with it
I had a couple of best friends for 10 yrs and I came to realize they don't talk to me as much anymore. People move on and the only thing I look up to is God. He finds me the right path. The other thing is I don't drink and smoke. So I try to find things that people don't drink and be able to socialize while not being drunk. A lot of them don't like but that's how I am. I don't like going to bars or clubs and I am 27 yrs old. I let people do their thing and if they want to talk or hang out, not what I do, I will still keep in contact
Well what do I do if my friend is talking to me a d she just says bye??? What?? What have I done to deserve that? Please help me! And she lives in Birmingham so I see her every school term. Well christmas and Easter!!
You did nothing to deserve that she's obviously a jerkB-U-T-T. Want me to spell it out to you once more.
okay this just recently happened to me, and I've learnt a lot from it.<br />
whatever you do ASK THEM WHATS WRONG. they could be hurt by something you did or said but you might not realise it and just thought they are being mean. my best friend of 8 years stopped talking to me. i never questioned her why, until 3 months later, i found out what happened and that i was slowly pushing her away, and by that time it was too late, i felt the questioning to late. try and work this out straight away! dont make the same mistake i did.
I will movie on and not think about it and find real friends that care about oneanother .im a 7th grader all my friends that i have they keeping stuff away from me i never kept anything from them i was always honest with them im very hurt
Whip 'em up into shape
This is happening to me. I started my freshman year and for the first few days I sat alone at lunch. Then my best friend from 2nd grade sat with me and a couple days would introduce me to her friends. So over the next Month we started to become friends. I said hi to them as they walk up to tge table like i always do then out of the blue they don't respond. I talk to them for the next three days they act like I don't exist. This has happened for the last month and they were my only friends. I still sit with them and only one person their talks with me. So I only have him as a friend. And the rest of them treat me like a ghost.
~~would give them the space and be understanding if they ever turned around to come back!! <br />
and probably throw my tantrums to scold her/him after a bit ; )
You could try to ask that person what's going on? I remember when one of my best friends in high school, completely stopped talking to me, like right to my face. I said something to her in class and she didn't respond and acted like I didn't exist. I said "Ok. I can take a hint." And we never spoke again. It hurt so bad. People are weird. Sometimes you just have to move on and realize that person isn't worth it.
This actually is happening to me right now its depressing me, and I get a bit angry and ignore them but if they talk to me I say "mind your business"
That's the problem with the electronic age! If this person really is your "best friend" you can bet I would be there, at his/her house, banging on the door, wanting to know what the heck the problem is? You can't solve this without some face-to-face. If you can't approach them face-to-face, you're not real friends anyway.
Well Honey, I think this is just a case of new life, new friends. She probably will be your friend forever, but just now she has a lot going on with other people. Don't fret...give her some space and time, and see what happens. When you don't see someone every day it's easy to let day to day things get in the way. Just be patient..it will show how she feels one way or the other... and don't be hurt if she drifts away... you just might reconnect later. I've done this. I had a friend that I didn't talk to for 23 years, but now we're like brothers again. You'll see. *hug*
You're welcome. Anytime.
She really is your best friend, I see. You might send her a text message explaining that you really need contact with her, but please remember that she's dealing with a lot of new stuff, and new people that are invisible to you. You're doing the right thing by interacting with other people, too. Tell one of your other friends about how you feel; it may serve to draw you closer to them.
Honey blab slab
I would keep talking to my friend. Even When it feels like I'm talking to myself. Simply ask No or Yes answers. Say sad things to make him or her talk. Say things like I've known you for a long time. And I Dont want us to drift apart. We made promises. Dont let me go. Then your friend would start back talking to you. Giving you reasons. Depending on What you did. It doesn't matter. Just apologize. Nd ask for forgiveness