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To lucyintheskywithdiamonds your advice" Kick him out? You reared him in a fashion that makes him disrespectful, and now you want to kick him out?? He's already paying for everything a parent should pay for, including his rent in his family home, and school costs. I absolutely understand his frustration. If you kick him out, you may never hear from him again. Are you OK with that outcome?" No I would not be good with not hearing from my son again. But I did teach my son to be on his own and did not rear him to be disrespectful. He was not this way when he was younger. As he got older after high school I gave him more rope and because he didnt give me problems he was able to do more. He is an adult and I've treated him like one. I'm not going to coddle him. As far as him paying for "everything a parent should pay for" again he is an adult. When do you feel a parent should stop paying for stuff and at what age of the adult kid should the parent stop paying for them? I appreciate your response though.
mylifeinwords mylifeinwords 36-40, F 20 Answers Dec 7, 2009

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Get a divorce.

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I would tell them not forget where they come from...to have some respect...

And if they can't speak normally to me to get out of my face..

As they are now adults..you should not have to put up with their disrespect..or sugar coat anything..

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Kick them out of your basement and throw out their star wars figurines.

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They tend to bring on their own demise.

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yup just kick him out

It would be good for him and you too

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Let them know that how they are being is unacceptable. Just straight out tell them and also let them know if they don't like it they don't have to hang around to listen to it but you are not putting up with it. Then leave it at that, if the behavior continues then show them how an adult would handle things and walk away.

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Hear your disrespectful adult child out (see the reasoning through their eyes) - dont assume you always right. As much as our parents want us to listen ... we also need to be heard - I am pleading you to just lend a ear and be more understanding - during times like this alot gets said in temper (and that is never forgotten) - I believe you care enough to hear your child out and work things through.

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I am a single parent. I disagree that the child is disrespectful because the parent raised him to be that way. I have tried to teach my son by modeling good behavior, taking care of myself, becoming educated and treating him with respect. However when he started getting in trouble, it was difficult to enforce consequences while I was at work and society tells you that you have to tolerate it because he is a minor. Kids today know what they can get away with.

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I totally agree with putting out an adult child when the disrespect is too much! However, I have a 40-year old son with Schizophrenia!! He's had four hospitalizations - has changed dramatically after the fourth break. For those of you who understand mental illness, you will know what I am referring to when I say the word 'break!" It's the worst, the worst, experience I have ever lived through. I cannot trust him at all or what he says to be true. He's a sweetheart of a person, always giving gifts! On his last visit, January of this year, I suggested he join NAMI (National Alliance for the Mentally Ill) - he became verbally violent, called me a f-------- harlot, this is not the first time he's used this language on me, I asked him to take the pasta I had prepared for him and leave. He continued to use vulgar language, grabbed the bible he had given me and walked out still quite angry. He ended up throwing the pasta all over the pavement outside my building. I wrote him a brief note explaining why I couldn't have him here any longer. About all the years I've taken care of his life, his bills, entertaining his friends, working, cleaning. I know he's ill - the trouble with Schizophrenia is that he has no insight. Well, he's calling again and I so very apprehensive. That's my story; he was 20 years old when he became ill. Fooled around with LSD, so he said,while in college. Oh dear me! Thank you.

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give him the cold shoulder, don't give him the satisfaction of answering him back..OR.. write your feelings down in the form of a letter.. don't hold back, tell him how much you love him, how you miss him being the way he was before he started acting the way he is now, hopefully he will realize what he is doing is not acceptable... good luck.

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Well, the first problem is that you're calling him an "adult child" - a oxymoron if ever I heard one.

People are disrespectful because they are allowed to be.

Perhaps by his growing up too quickly, he feels as if he is the adult and you the child. This will often lead to that kind of behaviour.

How have you and how do you treat him? We learn by example.

I would remind him when he is being disrespectful and tell him you won't interact with if he continues to treat you that way.

Then follow through on your statements.

It will take time, but he'll get it.

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I would have dumped the dirty dishes in his sock drawer and ripped the garbage open on his bed if one of my children EVER behaved that way towards me. Passive aggressive? Yes, but not any more so than he's being.

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don't let him forget where he lives, they get to comfortable and start thin king that they living at a hotel with all the accomodations. HELLOOOO your not.

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Kick him out? You reared him in a fashion that makes him disrespectful, and now you want to kick him out?? He's already paying for everything a parent should pay for, including his rent in his family home, and school costs. I absolutely understand his frustration. If you kick him out, you may never hear from him again. Are you OK with that outcome?

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You have to watch them hit rock bottom and destroy all that they love, just be there to pick up the bits!



People in general dont see the lack of respect they cause or issue to others until it is reversed by there role models, quite often these role models are the wrong kind, so will ultimately as konrad says meet there own demise.





Truth hurts but blabbing it all out seems lost on such people who do not listen, sit back and wait!

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