He still lives at home
He/she never invites you over
He/she is moving to quickly
He/she constantly talks bad about their ex
Excessive parental attachment
He/she is fresh out of a relationship
He/she has an explosive temper
I don't agree with the living at home part. I have met quite a few very responsible men that lived at home. Sometimes they can't afford to move out yet and are saving money. Sometimes they stay home to take care of sickly parents. It all depends on the individual situation.
I wouldn't date a man still living at home unless he has a d*mn good reason like "REALLY" taking care of aging parents, etc... but I'm 36 so referring to grown men 30 and over, so if you're having severe money problems til where you need to move back home, then dating shouldn't be at the top of your priority list... but that's just my opinion.
I think alot of wimon see a guy living at home as a sign of not having money but who wants to be with a woman that only cares about that
Circumstances that lead a person to live back at home are different. With the crappy economy many people are having to move back home, I was referring to those that never want to "grow up"...example: my sister in law, though she doesn't live at home she DOES, however expect my in laws to pay her bills, buy her cars etc....she ire fuses to grow up and stand on her own 2 feet!
(stupid auto correct) it should read...she refuses to grow up
If he seems "flawless" that is a BIG red flag for me...
We are all humans... and we are not perfect... and if someone is acting like that he might be hiding something horrible...
Totally agree with this one. If they seem too normal, they're bound to be hiding something really awful.
Bit cynical?? The poor guys probably just putting his best foot forward. Benefit of the doubt on this one?
Technically no one should seem flawless. If they do, often times its because we feel that he/she can do no wrong and we need to check ourselves. I do agree, however, that someone attempting to seem to perfect might have ulterior motives. And not always for the wrong reasons. Sometimes a person wants to keep someone's interest and they play up their personality more. This is incredibly dangerous because it means you are not honest about yourself & your prospective mate will find out eventually, thus destroying the trust built in the relationship.
'Best foot foward' Gets people in a heap of trouble, later on down the line. When people think they are getting married to one person, and end up with a completely different person who gets 'comfortable'. Little effort being made after they feel secure.
Those who think the world should bend over backwards to put up with their faults, isn`t fun either.
So yes, everything in moderation, and nobody should appear 'perfect'.
I prefer people being 'real'. Even if I don`t want to date them, I can at least respect them for being honest about themselves.
you're right... I am real and honest most of the time... and I don't care if people like me or not... I am just myself... and I am far.. far.. from perfection hahahah
u seem perfect to me :)
hahahaahah ok.... :|
I will agree with this statement because, lets face it, no one on this planet is perfect. Everyone has something. Whether is a bad smoking habit, or they have Type 2 Diabetes, or clinical depression (which is actually quite common these days), etc. In other words...keep looking for that special someone since there are over 7 Billion people on Earth & we have a purpose on this planet, which is to propapate our species, care for one another, and work to earn a living. Enough said?
If they try to control you in any way, that is a HUGE red flag.
absolutely! controlling behavior is a sign of more serious problems to come, especially if it becomes abusive.
YES!!! Controlling people who have a desire to '...take charge...' or try to '...bully people...' are definitely the types to be avoided. No one wants to be controlled or dominated by someone who is a 'control freak!'
assaulting and bullying others is a serious issue... gossiping about people leads to more abuse... trying to control who you are with and what you do is a worry...
I have found men who don't allow you to express yourself as you wish to just have to go... men who drink too often and have a history of continual drugs and violence or gambling or speeding are out;
men who want extra marital affairs get rid of them ... they are users.
men who rape and cheat on women are the big dangerous ones
stalkers and compulsive liars are trouble too. anyone who is so determined to stop you having a life of your own or controls every aspect of your life are dangerous
I have met some real freaks ... the worst are the control freak lesos who want to convert you and want more than you do ... just stay right away... is what I say.
YES!!! I AM IN TOTAL AGREEMENT WITH YOU ON THIS ONE!!! CHEATERS, CONTROL FREAKS, RAPISTS, etc.
I knew a guy who just couldn't get enough of this lezo girl who bashed me and tried to run me over and then sexuallya ssaulted me... he wanted a 3some n I said no in the end I was so hurt and battered... but I walked away... why do some men like abusive women? and why do some wives never blame their husbands... take the married man who raped me while I was still a virgin.. the wife must see herself like that tv series THE GOOD WIFE... its never the husbands stupid fault and what is so godly about being a good wife to a rotten husband anyway??? or vice verse...!!! being some long suffering good wife is just stupid...I would have walked out ages ago... people like to pass the buck and face the truth
my father had enough of his sister with that kind of thing the husband was always in trouble with police... he got shi tty with her one night which surprised me cuz he seemed to always give in to her ... but he said "oh roslyn its always the same old thing with Ron sexually assaulting women and its never his fault..." and he said "that's right roslyn "STAND BY YOUR MAN"!!! LIKE A FOOL!!! AND GOT RID OF HER!!
If he's got a rope, a van with blacked out windows and an old rag, run away :-P
Seriously, controlling people, self obsessed people and pla
Ah...YES!!! The van with blacked out windows, maybe a gun-rack in the back, or, something more sinister...
She talks too much about being independent and not needing a man, or if she talks about wanting the expensive stuff like cars, diamonds or just him needing to be having a lot of "paper", also those women who talk about men being dogs, sorry-a** n****s, etc.
when they start referring to "sister wives" or polygamy. that now gives me the creeps.
how often has this happened to you?
If they don't get along with your family or friends. If your friends or family don't approve. When they are too controlling. If they don't treat you like a princess. If they look at other girls when they are with you.
i HATE the looking at other girls thing. some guy did it this morning on the bus and got smacked by his gal.
Total lack of respect for your 'significant other' by 'checking out' other women is a big time NO-NO!!!
I agree with all except not getting alone with family. I don't get alone with my mother no matter how I try to please her, that doesn't mean I wouldn't treat someone else with respect & kindness. I won't take her abuse just so someone else will like me, then they think its okay to abuse me too & THAT I can't stand!!! I can't help that I'm related to her!
The only red flags that really matter are the ones that indicate that someone could be dangerous. Everything else is just a matter of getting to know the person and deciding if you like him/her. What could be a social "red flag" in a relationship can vary from person to person. But the signs of danger from another human being are universal.
In his book (often recommended by me) The Gift of Fear, Gavin DeBecker lists 7 signs that indicate that a man (or woman) you meet could be a dangerous person. These are those signs:
FORCED TEAMING = When a person tries to pretend that he has something in common with a person and that they are in the same predicament when it is not really true. The main sign of this is the word "we," when there is no genuine connection between the two people having the conversation.
CHARM AND NICENESS = People often forget that the word "charm" is a verb. Debecker recommends that instead of thinking, "He is charming," it is better to think, "He is charming me." Charm is NOT a character trait and it is often used to manipulate. Honest people rarely feel the need to be extra charming or friendly to win someone over. Too much charm and niceness is a red flag.
TOO MANY DETAILS = When people are not being honest, they tend to add too many details.
TYPECASTING = A mild insult used to get a person who would otherwise ignore you to talk to you. Example, "You're probably not the kind of person who'd ever do something silly just for fun, right?" The idea is to put the person listening on the defensive so that he or she will do something to prove the speaker wrong.
LOAN SHARKING = Giving unsolicited help and expecting a favor in return. When someone has just done a favor for us, even if it's one we did not request, we tend to feel obligated not to refuse a request in return and we feel less inclined to argue with him/her.
AN UNSOLICITED PROMISE = A promise to do (or not do) something when no such promise has been asked for. Usually, an unsolicited promise will be broken. Example: "I promise I'll leave you alone after this," means you will not be left alone. An unsolicited promise of "I promise I won't hurt you," usually means the person does intend to hurt you.
DIISCOUNTING THE WORD "NO" = Refusing to accept a refusal or rejection. DeBecker considers this the most significant indicator for future violence or serious trouble. Often the potential predator will try to overcome a "no" over something minor, such as a choice of food from the menu at a restaurant. This a test to see how the potential victim will act when "No" is ignored. The worst reaction you can give to someone who is ignoring your refusal is to give him ever weakening responses and then give in.
For more information about this, read DeBekcer's book The Gift of Fear.
Oh, yeah, and one more thing. DeBecker points out that we must not ignore our own instinctive feelings of danger. When someone makes us uncomfortable, the last thing we should do is ignore out own feelings. Most of the time, our survival instincts are right.
Yep, that's what I do, ALWAYS FOLLOW MY INTUITION, even if I can't tell why I feel this way, maybe the red flag is hidden.
A big red flag would be if he seems obsessed , always calling you a million times a day...Yeah watch out for those ones....
"Barbara... I know your there... stop watching Teen Mom 2 and come to the door.. my pretty... I love that blue blouse your wearing right now.... you are hot... " lol
lol exactly what I mean..
Kitty....I wouldn't generalize. ALone, ie, if this the only defect, ie, that he calls you a lot each day, I think there is nothing wrong with it. HOWEVER, if it makes you suspicious, then start looking for the other problems. In other words, I'm allowing that it might be connected to some problem. But, you, a woman living in the year 2012, for that reason alone, probably have built in problems. Many women have self-esteem problems which are expressed in the phrase: "If a man thinks I'm incredible, I immediately distrust him." Is this a problem with the guy? No, not in this case.
When you first start dating, both are putting out the best of yourselves, if you notice something when you are first dating, don't ignore it, it only get's worse!
You know it girl!!
If they are older than 25 and still live at home. They are cagey about their job/life. They get drunk on the first date. One of their mates has died of a drug overdose. They ask you if you don't mind them wearing spandex. They are overly interested in your stockings/tights. You end the date and realise that they haven't asked you a single question about you all night. They talk about their mum a lot. They talk about their ex a lot. They become jealous of your children. They become jealous of the postman. Err..... more?
Jealous of the postman? Wow, that would be scary!
I live at home, I'm 29, I've had **** circumstances that led me here, and I have a girl of 2 1/2 years who lives on her own who doesn't hold it against me. Although finally this'll be changing soon. I don't think living at home should be a red flag at all. This Economy is still ******, I don't care what the news says.
Or when still lives at home is asked, does that mean has never moved out? I moved out at 16, back in at 27
No, there's nothing wrong with that. A lot of us are struggling. It's left up to the individual and what their priorities are. If people need to live at home, so be it. I don't hold it against them.
This just shows how shalow these wimon are they don't realy care about the person they only care about where he lives where he works, how much money he makes what kind of car he drives, and they wonder why they can't find a man.
There is a difference....if living at home because of a health or financial crisis that is understandable..but if living at home because lack of interest in getting a job and playing video games while mom makes you grilled cheese sandwiches that is an ISSUE
cant shut up about there ex
Oh that is sooo wrong!
swastika tattoo's, constant sniffing and or scratching,
If they seem to blame everyone else for everything that has ever happened to them. As if personal choice doesn't come into it somewhere. Also if he contradicts himself alot - like his stories are inconsistant.
He is on his phone the whole time when you are on a date, never keeps promises, you are always having inconclusive conversations, borrows money to buy his small brother fancy sneakers which are not really necessary (sign of exploitation), is not eager to meet your family esp parents
Etc, etc, etc...
YES TO ALL OF THE ABOVE!!!
Yes to all of the above!!!
a man who always has to get his mothers approval..
Do not take his past experiences with ex's for granted. A guy who talks about all the women he dated were all crazy and selfish is a big red flag to me. He has got to own some things in his prior failed relationships because in most cases, two people are typically responsible for the demise of a union.