I've said some funny stuff that's actually been funny but being embarrassed is awful.

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When a chauvinistic/misogynistic dim wit ex of mine said something sexist in front of mixed company so I retorted with a response laden with poly-syllabic words that went right over his head but everyone else caught it. They laughed their ***** off and he looked more confused than anyone I ever seen. It was priceless.

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I do an imitation of a retard with a speech impediment and tell people that I home school my daughter and that I taught her everything she knows. She laughs, but is embarrassed to be seen with me when I do it.

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The classics. Fart quietly, then say loudly, "Oh, do you mind ( LovedOne)?" or pat loved one on the bottom and leave a talcum powder print or some gum "o)

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LOL...I can't say it...it was a long time ago...when I was partying a little too hard. But in my defense she was getting on my nerves by constantly seeking attention. She got what she asked for though...all eyes where on her.

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I called my wife out for cheating on me two years ago during a sermon last Sunday, I wanted to see what god thought of her little charade.

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God doesnt like that $#!t

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That's the great think about imaginary friends....they have whate tastes they are created to have

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What a mean spirited Q

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Well I never claimed to be otherwise. I learned early on that if I can laugh at and make fun of myself then I can do the same to anyone or anything else. I'm only truly nice to a select few people because they are the only ones who deserve it. Most people mistakes my truly not giving a damn about how they feel or what they think or believe as honesty. I would care less if 99% of the population vanished until there was no electricity, running water, mtv dew or new videogames. The only way I can even stand to socialize with most people is to do so in a humorous (albeit "mean spirited") manner. In a world where mediocrity is the societal standard I take great pride in my ability to bring my insults to an ever higher plateau. Thanks for noticing! I love being appreciated!

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Hope you find what your looking for without hurting anyone else

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