When at a party I introduced somebody to my wife & my sister. Sadly there was only one woman there on my arm..HA!!!
Just kidding. I do crack me up :-)
When I was getting high there was this pawn shop I would sell stuff to all the time. Next to it was a Walmart. One day I didn't have any money or anything to sell, so I thought that I would go over to the Walmart, find something in their dumpster to sell, and take it over to the pawn shop. Well, the Walmart dumpster was locked, so I went to the other dumpsters in the area and I found a weed whacker. Thinking this was perfect I grabbed it and brought it to the pawn shop. I walked in with the weed whacker in hand and set it down on the counter.
The shop owner just looked at me and said "I don't want this."
"You don't want it?" I asked, disappointed and confused.
"No, that's garbage." He answered.
"Come on," I said, "it isn't that bad, how about like ten dollars?"
"No," he replies, "that is garbage, I just threw it out."
I was on a date with my boyfriend and I was wearing these low rise jeans. it was fine until I bent down to get something and he started laughing a little. he told me tht my butt crack was showing. it was so embarrassing. I was blushing for the rest f the night. now he always makes crack jokes in front of me. it's really embarrassing
Wetting my pants on a date. Actually it was the morning after, she was driving me home, and I totally pissed myself.
Oh, I have so many! but I have to say that having my friends walk in on me and some guy 3-4 times in the same session is probably the winner.
i was about 9 or 10 and i was aty my neighbor's backyard. my sister and my neighbor friend and i were jumping off the wooden landing in front of the slide to land on the swings. well it was my turn and when i jumped my pants, and underwear got caught on a nail. my bare butt was showing in front of my friends. my friends mother had to come out and lift me off the nail, by then i had no back side to my underwear and pants, and had to run home with my butt hanging out.
When a secretary where I work got hold of a very personal document I had written at the request of my therapist (whom I was seeing for job related stress!). It was only meant to be read by my therapist. It contained some personal comments about my life, my career and my job (though it did not name anyone or even name the job or job site)
The secretary got it away from me, and gave it to my boss who printed out about 16 copies of it and gave it to every single administrator where I work. Suddenly, unexpectedly, I was ambushed by a whole bunch of people who hated me, wanted to fire me, and had the power to do so. People yelled at me. Some people whom I liked and admired stopped speaking to me (ouch!)
It happened ten years ago and some people on my job have never forgotten it nor forgiven me for it.
My boss threatened to have me fired but when I went to my union, the union pointed out that I had never intended for anyone at my workplace to read it and I had made it clear it was personal. The secretary had tricked me out of it with a lie and I had given it to her before work began. So it was not work related. It did not slander anyone at my job nor did it name the place where I work. And it was, essentially, stolen from me. My union, and my attorney, told me that I could not be legally fired for this and, in fact, I could sue my boss for printing out my personal stuff, showing it around without my permission and stunting my career. I did not sue her. (She got fired anyway a year or so later for something entirely different). But I have never recovered the full support of the administration and it has hurt my career.
Wrote about it in my confessions on my profile page!Kinda too long to re write here but go read it everyone please for a good laugh at me.
Reading your other question.
Well uhm..........there are a lot of those moments, but I'll share the least embarrasing :
I was driving my scooter to home with my helmet on. Then a truck drove by and the wind blew a way some stuff...............so I had to get of my scooter and pick up those things, but the funny thing was that when I took of my helmet MY HAIR WAS A COMPLETE MESS..................(LOL) SOMEONE EVEN SHOUTED : omg look at that .....................!!! :(
Telling a woman recently that i like them more than a friend in a letter, luckily she took it well
--please help if you know anyone in southeast PA or northern MD....please!!!
So you say you don't remember too much about Saturday? Poor you! Let me tell you everything then.
I will try to tell all. When I planned to have a few of the girls over the other night I also planned to ask you to come over and fix the "broken" toilet at the same time and turn the tables on you in a card game in order to see your bod - which as you will see is exactly what happened!
So when you arrived in your cap and coveralls it was so perfect! You of course were interested in the five of us and our little Mardi Gras card game and had no way of knowing it was all planned ahead of time! I had everyone bring a mask and $10.00 worth of quarters. I brought an extra few rolls for you! When you arrived and saw us playing I of course knew you would have to go and fix the toilet so I asked the girls if we should invite you or challenge you to play and sure enough one of them said, "Only if we can get him to lose all of his quarters and bet his clothes!" I didn't even have to tell them that was what I had planned all along!
So I went to check on you and invited you to come and say hello and have a drink with us. And you said yes and came out to meet everyone. Well, I could not have written a better sc
We also decided we would then bet all of our bras for all of your quarters, but before that bet we would rig the game. So you did win the next 6 out of 7 rounds and we eventually lost all of our quarters. And then you said, a with a little slur,"What else you wanna bet?" So I told you we would each bet our shirts for 1/2 of all of your quarters. You sort of laughed and said OK. And Mary said she wasn't sure but we all convinced her but now you know it was a big act. So you won and you then got to see us all in our bras and pour us all shots on that round because the rules changed. And there was a lot of acting and pretending to be shy about giving up our blouses. Then I said I thought it was time to take a break and distracted you asking if you would help in the kitchen before the next bet and you being so noble and helpful and drunk agreed.
We talked about what would be bet next and if we were serious about continuing since we were losing. I to