Turn the other cheek?
Jesus is like Elvis. Nobody else like him, but some his fans scare the **** out of me. :)
I think he would condemn the Christian church as it stands today.
Buy the nails?
save everyone from hell...
He would remove at least half the (inappropriate) people from this site.
Steal my bong.
Save you from Hell.
Die a few times
Just ask him.
Drown us all except for a boat load of animals.