Step back from everything and stop seeing this other man until I have truly figured out how I feel about everything. I would ask myself, do I still love my husband? Why have I allowed myself to fall in love with another man, am I lacking something? Do I really love this other man, or is it lust? Do I want to break my family unit apart on a fleeting romance?

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good advice

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Realize that thee "love" u feel with the other man is just a fill in emotion because its new and exciting. Run as fast as u can from that mirage u think is love. It will ruin you, your family, your husband, your kids self worth. Take all of that emotion u feel for the other man and refilter it back into your relationship with your husband...don't expect immediate results because that's unrealistic. Just put more love and care into your husband and watch his surprise and how he will slowly start to return the love. I can tell u enough how dangerous and how close u stand to disaster. I was in your shoes and I don't think anything anyone said even went thru my brain, it went right throough my head, unheard. Divorce because of my selfishness was the most hearttbreaking and horifi. Experiene I have ever been through, it hurt me, him, our childern, the bank acct is empty, my heart has a hole that cannot be filled.. don't fall the way I fell...the grass looks green but when u get deeper into the field u will be very very disappointed. Enough said.....be careful and think real hard about where u stand.

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thank you

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check yourself before you wreck yourself

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Take a big step back and try to work out was so wrong with my marriage that I was viewing someone other than my husband in that way. I would then sit with my husband and talk about what the problems are and see if they can be fixed. If things are truly awful and there is no way it could work then I would leave my husband, take time to clear my head (at least a few months) and then decide where I want to go from there

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thanks

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since i was in this situation myself...i learned from it. my 'other man' encouraged me to leave my husband and told me for YEARS that i was his soulmate and he was madly in love with me and wanted to marry me. when my husband and i did agree to separate, my 'other man' broke up with me less than a week later.<br />
that began the worst two years of my life. i am still not over it...nothing has worked out for me since. i was able to finally meet a man and trust him only to have my heart broken yet again.<br />
unless there is abuse or my children were in danger, i would stay with my husband and keep my family together. honor the vow i made. i can't help but wonder if breaking my vow is why my life is broken.

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sorry to hear that... I think that no matter what, you did the right thing. You followed your heart. Are you sorry you left your husband? Sounds like he wasn't the one. My marriage has lasted for 22 years before it cracked open, and five years down the line, I am still trying to fix it. Sometimes we don't realize how wrong everything is until someone comes along and makes us feel good about ourselves and life in general. Things don't always work out, but he is the catalyst for change... and that in itself is a positive. Why did your lover break up with you? did he stay with his wife? knowing what you know now, would you have stayed in your marriage? why?

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Why not you fall in love with another man. The whole society today are full of morals and ethics that are so hypothetical. You an adult you can decide for yourself what is good and what is bad for you. You want to try something new i cant see why not as long as you do what is right by you. Only you have the answer to your questions and who cares what others think of you. Is what you think of yourself. Enjoy it and life is full of fun

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I'd forget all about this other person and try to seek professional help to save my marriage. If that didn't work then I'd get a divorce. I would never cheat on my spouse because that's the coward's way.<br />
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Are you asking because you're in this situation? Whatever you do, don't cheat. You're better off trying to repair the marriage first, or divorce if that fails.

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thanks

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tell the one your married too im just not attracted to you and it wont work

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U have never been in this situation have u? Are u married? Its not just that easy. And the afteraffects are heartwrenching...its not just affecting her...there are a lot of people involved here.

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If I were in that particular situation, I would have to weight the pros and cons and decide what to do from that personal data. If unable to do so , then seek professional counseling. If that does not work, then divorce as a last resort.

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I am in this exact position. I can't figure out what to do either. I am wondering if you have made any decisions in the last couple of weeks and how you are feeling.

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I was in this situation 8 years ago. I fell in love with another man that was also married (with no kids). This was an emotional relationship (no sex) when he decided to tell his wife of 20 years that he was in love with me, surprised me too, as we had never told each other that. Anyway, he divorced his wife and I left my husband, which the kids nor I have seen since. We are still together and very happy. It was a very hard decision to make. Leaving my husband was the best thing I did for myself and the happiness of the children. Good luck in your decision.

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Can I ask out of curiosity because I have been in this situation myself....do u still have times of grief or sadness in missing your ex husband?

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good for you! thanks

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No, I can't say that I do. He left the country and has not seen his kids nor paid child support for them, so that makes it very clear in my head that I made the right choice. It is hard on the kids more than myself.

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I would be very surprised.

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let sanity take over not my feelings...

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anything except sex

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well I'm a man and not likely to fall in love with another man. But in my limited experience of women - they stay with the kids, I really hope your kids are in some way worthy of the loyalty you will show them.

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