I would dump your friends a$$ in a heartbeat. A good friend of mine did the same thing to me. Was never my ex's friend but befriended him after we broke up because she thought I was talking about her behind her back, which wasnt true. (she's a bit immature) So knowing that my ex had put me in the hospital for 3 days, had me arrested for scratching the poor little b*tch bc I didnt feel like being choked to death, and was stalking me, she befriends him so she can wind up sabotaging me in the end. <br />
My advice to you is to get a new 'friend.'

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She was supposed to be your friend, not your ex's. The fact she is standing up for your husband after he beat you and cheated. instead of standing up for you is unacceptable. Lose her.<br />
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One of the problems I have with "Christians" is there insistence that if you claim to be a Christian, you can be a serial rapist/murderer, and everyone should forgive you because "God has." The logic is stupid and dangerous. You forgive people who make mistakes, feel remorse, and try to make amends. You don't forgive a man who beats his wife and has multiple affairs. By "forgiving" when they have no remorse, you are condoning his actions and perpetuating his abuse. By your friend telling you to forgive him, she is telling you to set up his next victim.<br />
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As far as the "Christian" man goes, it depends on your definition. For hundreds (if not thousands) of years, a good Christian man would beat his wife if she acted unchristian or had unchristian thoughts. It was also common for good Christian men to cheat or have mistresses. So in the classical definition of Christian man, yes, he is a good Christian.<br />
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One last parting shot. You said that she said she still "loves" him????? Hopefully in the agape way, but he had four affairs you know of. Sure it's not five?

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You asked so I will respond, but I doubt you will like the answer. Honestly I think the friend should end the friendship with you. You have no right to control someone else’s actions or even have those sorts of expectations of them. The fact that her husband and your ex work together is more than a fair explanation, but an explanation should not even be required. You are expecting this person to side with you, which is very immature. Life is not high school, conflicts happen and life goes on. <br />
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My suggestion is that you either let the friendship go or you simply do not discuss the topic of your ex with your friend. Families break up every day, when children are involved and grandparent’s people have to be mature and deal with the situation. Sometimes people who do not like each other have to deal with one another.

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I would let them do whatever they want to do. You can't expect people to do as you do. Stay friends with your friend and her husband and stay away from your ex :)

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