One of mine has pretty much done this while one stands by me and is supportive. It hurt at first but time has brought some peace to my mind. No matter how much love we show our children, they are their own people and we cannot be responsible for their actions towards us.
Many close friends my age have gone through this experience. Is it a sign of the times or something more? Did we give them too much in hopes that they would always show love and support to our decisions?
I will always love both of my children but I also demand their respect as this is a huge part of love. What has happened is not my failure as a parent but a choice that they make as adults. Accepting this helps me cope and let go of disappointment. I gave them life and I gave them wings. Where they chose to fly is not determined by me now.
This has to be the very best consolation in respects to accepting the actions of my 2 sons. Thank-you
Love is a verb, more than a noun. If giving love included saying "I love you", and buying presents, but not actually being present, or helping your children grow into solid adults - by example and wise leading - then the word 'love' falls short of believable legitimacy. Not that I'm suggesting this is YOU and your situation, just that it's something worth thinking about.
I have a son and daughter, my daughter and I have always had a very close relationship. During her senior year I noticed there was distance between us. During college the distance continued with many periods of talking and reuniting. In 2012 I lost my job and exhausted all income, I could not afford an apartment and moved in with her until I moved back east or until I secured a permanent job. I cleaned, brought groceries, cooked and took care of the cats. Despite this there was so much friction in the air you could cut it with a knife. After finally talking about her treatment towards me, she stated she had a routine, and missed her privacy...also thinking there was nothing wrong with her feeling this way.Needless to say, I was devasted. I raised both of my children to know and love the Lord Jesus Christ, as well as the most important thing in life is family, as when all others forsake you your family will always be there for you. My daughter has been a devoted christian all her life and she still loves the Lord very much. She is 21 years old and I understand she has a lot to learna nd her prioritiies are not the same as a 30 year old, she has always been a very compassionate person and always helping her fellow man...yet she has been distant, unavailable emotionally and time wise. She told me she would prefer if I lived out of town like her dad so when she visits she can enjoy and devote her time to the visit.
After sharing all of this, I am leaving tomorrow and I have given this situation to God and time...sometimes words have no menaing regardless to what and how it is said...I will always love her, and if she ever needs me I will always be there for her...I pray she will come to understand the opportunity we had together could have been such a blessing and benefit to both of us, but she chose not to allow it.
I pray and believe she will come to understand the meaning of "UNCONDITIONAL LOVE" something of almost a dying art today. My answer is prayer and faith, not to return a wrong with a wrong, but to forgive and continue loving unconditionally.
After being in a coma for 5 days and almost dying, my daughter (33) chose to care for me until suddenly she became cruel, rude and disrespectful. I had a long journey back but she showed no concern whatever. In fact, she compared me to my mother as whining, fabricating, manipulating. I stayed at her apartment because I had nowhere to go. My mother chose to call a company and had all my belongings taken to the dump. My daughter said she wanted me out and found an apartment. The day we went there I fell and broke my wrist, she kept going. She dropped me at my apt and has been distant, rude and cruel every since. I have no idea why, I swear.
I say let go, and let God!!! What goes around will surely come around again. Their children will never value the true meaning in the love for family. Therefore, they may as well get ready for the let down. Because their children probably will not be there for them when they are 65 and alone.
I would set their hair on fire while they're sleeping, and put it out with AJAX!
one of my sons was so despicable to me when he was on drugs but i stood by him even when social services took my beloved grandson away then he went to prison and i still stood by him, he came out changed his ways met a new girl I helped them set up home together they had a daughter he promised he'd never take her away and now he tells me theyre moving to the other side of the country where I won't be able to travel to I feel like ending it all
LOL at Prettypoison
You keep going. Enjoy life. What else can you do?
Wait for them to come back. :)
One of my children did something most people wouldn't ever forgive and we were apart for 5 yrs. I have four children. we recently mended fences and I honestly could never picture my life with out any of them.
Mine did leave despite my support. I am heartbroken. When you find the answer as to what you do, let me know. I'd love to know that myself. In the meantime, I've tried to keep myself busy with learning new things and letting my child know I am still here. Ugh..............