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hippnk hippnk 46-50, M 27 Answers Dec 19, 2012 in Romance & True Love

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My boyfriend and myself are both widowed and he has a tatoo on his arm with his wifes name . It dont' care.. he has had it along time. If he did not have it prior and wanted to get it now I think I would still understand. I do not like it not cuz it has her name I simply find any tatoo un attractive.. for me they are a turn off!

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thanks for your answer.
My sympathies to you and your boyfriend. My new partner does feel the same about tattoos as you do and I tend to think some of her dislike of mine isn't just what it says.

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I'd think his dead lover meant a lot to him

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I would think "wow, what a wonderful tribute"

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I would too :)

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Thanks to you both for your answer. Yes it is a tribute to her. When I watched my daughter get a tattoo I knew what I had to do.

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I would think that that person meant a lot to them, that person has passed away so I wouldn't speak ill of the dead.

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thanks for your answer.

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I wouldn't mind. There is a big difference from being with someone with a dead spouse rather than a living ex wife or ex husband. When you choose to be with someone that is a widow or widower, then you need to except that they are going to talk about the wife/husband, that they will be madly in love with them until they die, that there will be pictures of the wife/husband in the home and in this case a tattoo of the person's name on their body. Thing is, if you have chosen to be with this person, then you need to except these things. They loved someone that they expected to spend their entire life with and they died. They did not divorce them.

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Thank you affinity. I do not think that I could have said it any better then you did.
Yes you expect to be with your married partner for all of your life. To lose them suddenly or to lose them due to an illness over many months does not make it any easier.
It is a love that will last a life time. Even though I am in a relationship now and we are talking about marriage, I am still in love with my first wife. As she is with her deceased husband.
I am, and she is not, replacements for a lost one. We find we have a lot in common. And we have fallen in love with each other. But we both respect each others feelings for our lost mates. One does not just turn a switch off and all past feelings are gone. Life does not work that way.

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Exactly :). My step mother was married to my father for 25 years before he passed. It's been 7 years since his death and she still cries on all holidays.

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I'm glad that you found love again and that person that really understands.

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1 word .....RESPECT

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thanks for your answer.

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That's cool. Unless we're talking about serial killer.

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thanks for your answer.
Don't understand the serial killer bit.

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If they got it while married, that they had loved their late spouse very much, which would be appropriate.

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thanks for your answer.
Yes I did love her very much. I love my new partner too.

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It wouldn't bother me at all, UNLESS she got it AFTER we got together as a married couple.

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thanks for your answer.
I would just like to say to you and all who answered, I'm the one with the tattoo and its my new partner that is a little uncomfortable with it.

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If you got it BEFORE you got a new partner, then he needs to accept it and respect your wishes, regarding how you choose to mutilate your own body.

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I got my tattoo within the first year of loosing my wife. Seven years after loosing my wife I met my new partner. She is uncomfortable with what it says and not just the name.

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I understand and I really can sympathize with you, because my fiancée died in 1967, when she was 17 and I was 18. If your partner has a real problem dealing with your tattoo, then you need to find another partner with a more accepting attitude.

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and you just now saw it then you must live with it

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Thanks for your answer.

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Kill your lover . How dare they have a relationship before you.

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thanks for your answer. love the sarcasm

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So what, they're not a threat to you, if you can't get past that just move on and don't hurt them later

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thanks for your answer.

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i think thats ok, theyre not here anymore theres no reason for jelousy when someone is long gone and never to return. now if that was an ex and still around then heck no.

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Thanks for your answer.

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Its their choice.

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thanks for your answer.

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It wouldn't bother me at all.

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It would be ok. As long as it has been dealt with-that I am not competing with a memory. That's one battle that is never winnable.

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It's not like it was a random girlfriend... It was a spouse.

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Ha, I wouldn't care.

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I have no problem showing my face on this site. Thanks, but no thanks.

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And I resent you calling me "kiddo." Would you enjoy it if I called you Grammy? You can't bully me, lady.

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She was being nice. This is no place for kids and sharing your picture is not a smart thing to do. Marji is a nice person and only expressing needed concern. If you were my daughter, I'd be making you delete your account.

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Well, thankfully, you ain't my Dad.

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My bf has one on his right shoulder...a fair sized one. I can't stand it. It is the first thing that I look at when I wake up.<br />
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My advise is if you have to get one put it where you can see it and not where someone else has to look at it all the time. Or better yet don't do it at all. Have a chest of treasures where you can go and look at her or him in your own personal time when you need to. It's just an excuse to get a tatoo.

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