Walk away and let them win the battle for pettiness while you hold your head high knowing you won the battle for maturity.
I'm always pleased to encounter a true wit, however you are only halfway there...
Why don't you up the f### shut! lol
Spit in the eye? idk there no "Come back" for something that blatent
Nah, I think I'll just keep talking. LALALALA!
Your face is just fine, but you will have to put a bag over that personality.