I'm sorry there are no lucky STIFFS to take your call, you'll have to stay alive so you can talk to yourself.
Nike's, "Just do it" That's the worst one I can think of!!
Your call is important to us, we will with you as soon as possible. Our motto you wait we'll talk (eventually)
Life - who needs it?
We are here to help you succeed
"Suicide hotline. Please hold."