do you guys watch **** together. My hubby just convinced me to watch it w/ him and it was actually a great addition to our relationship because before i was very "unadventurous" but when we started watching that I would see stuff and b like ok i'll try that... or no, i will never try that! he let me pick the movies tho...cuz im a real prude lol
Have your buddy slap her in the face with 12 inches!
talk to her about it.
Take her to the local park and ask her if she wants to go on the merry-go-round or the swing......chances are she will pick the swing......
That's where I went wrong and ended up a dizzy blonde then.
if you wanted to be with other people why did you get married? first talk to her but be sure you talk to her honestly. also be willing to accept any kind of emotional reaction she may have and not take it personally due to you wanting to introduce her to this.<br />
Also, you need to be prepared on what you plan to do with both the yes or no you will receive. If yes the two of you need to discuss further how to proceed. if no then you need to accept and let it be the end of the conversation and stay true to your wife. if on the other hand you can not let it go then you need to be honest with her so that she can choose if she wants to stay married to a man who wants to be with others and give her to others.
I was upset when my husband asked too, but when he explained why he wanted this, I agreed. Haven't done it yet, but we just haven't found the right people.
How did your husband express WHY he wanted to swing in a way that was not threatening? For me, and I believe most men that want to try swinging, it is a way to experience an adventure WITH my wife. It is way more about being with HER than it is about being with someone else. I also have a tremendous desire to take my wife places sexually that she wouldn't allow herself to go on her own. I'm fine with taking it slow. We have both had some "experiences" in the past. I feel like her bad experiences have shaded this in a negative way. How do I make her see it it about being closer and experiencing this together? I would love to hear how you and your husband opened the lines of communication. We are close, but I sense she is holding back or hesitating.
We discussed women's sexuality and how it has been demonized by our society. Men are taught to enjoy sex and women are taught to be ashamed. Explain that you think this is wrong and as her husband your greatest desire is for her to feel free to explore her curiosities and fantasies in a loving and safe environment. Experiment, buy toys for her, etc.
Thanks so much for the great advice. I will absolutely use this as a way to open up the discussion. I TOTALLY agree that our society has demonized female sexuality. It's great to see that confident women like you can overcome this and put your trust in yourself and your partner. For me, that's what it's really all about. Having a greater degree of trust and openness with my wife.
He basically told me what you just did that he felt most of my life feeling sexually repressed because of previous bad experiences and he wanted me to see how beautiful and desirable I was. He said he wanted other men to be able to taste me but know I was his. It's all about trust. And self esteem. You need to make her feel sexy enough to have confidence in herself. That sexual confidence is what draws the men. And if men start paying attention to her, flirting, it will make her feel sexy. Maybe just start by getting dressed up and going out one night. Ask her to flirt with a man. Tell her it turns you on knowing other men are attracted to her. Point out her sexiest features and do it frequently. Notice when men are looking at her and point it out to her. "Damn, baby, did you see that guy check you out? You're hot!" Flatter her, make her feel like its about her then she will believe you. Just saying it isn't enough.
Awesome! Thank you again for the great advice. We're going out for Halloween tomorrow, and she is going to be in a costume contest. She's going in a very sexy costume, so this will be a great opportunity to put your advice into action!
Best of luck ;) Make her feel sexy and she will be sexy ;)
That should not be a problem. In my eyes, she's the sexiest woman in the world. I will let you know how things go.
"if you wanted to be with other people why did you get married?"
for men: marrying a wife willing to swing can open far more sexual opportunities than they would have as single men.
same for women
My wife and I are swingers. We were married 27 years before we got into this. One thing I can say is that I hear people ask why did you get married if you want others. In every case, this question comes from someone that knows nothing about swinging. Swinging has nothing to do with replacing your relationship. Our relationship is closer today than it has ever been. This is because swinging requires very good communication to work. We learn from others and through communication we can apply new approaches to keeping our relationship lively, secure and exciting. We have found that while we have a great sexual relationship, our playmates allow us to enjoy sexual situations that the other partner may not care for. An example is that one may enjoy oral sex while the other doesn't. Finding another playmate that does enjoy oral sex can satisfy that urge. This helps to eliminate sexual frustration and we find we enjoy what many refer to as reclamation sex as we reconnect and re-bond with each other after playing with others. We fully understand that this doesn't work for everyone mainly because not everyone can communicate honestly and openly with each other.
Very well said.
What kind of reasons did give you?
I introduced it to her while we were having sex and told her how hot it would be to see her in bed with so and so,,told her it made me so horny thinking about it, did it for 6 months,than finally she said while having sex ,, oh Bob (who is my good friend) **** me...so I knew she was starting to fantasize it,and later wanting it so I just set her up, with a few drinks and it all fell in place..Bob replayed this with his wife and eventually became swingers..patience and a lot of suggesting..voila
why would you want to i dont like sharing a cheeseburger let alone the woman i love
Introduce her very slowly. Talk about it in sex, always focus on her being pleasured. Find another couple that you can strike a friendship but they have to be swingers. Then slowly after a friendship has formed let her know that they are into swinging. They have to be a normal fun couple who your wife feels at ease with in any situation incluing a sexual one. good luck
Hopefully someone will respond to you with a serious answer. I certainly don't have the answer as it only happened to us once in our 50 year marriage and she ended up totally frustrated as he couldn't perform with her. This incident was the idea of my former girlfriend who I'd gone steady with all through school. When she broke it off I was deeply hurt and left for military service. When my wife and I returned to the area the old gf struck up a very good friendship with us and the 4 of us had some great times together. One day she called me at work and asked if I thought we'd be willing to do a swap with them. I responded that I was ok with the idea but had no idea if my wife would do it. She said she'd give her a call and discuss it. That night when I got home my wife told me that we were going to do a swap session with them if it was ok with me. I didn't refuse, but to this day have no idea how she'd been convinced to go thru with it as she had no interest on the occasions I'd mentioned it to her. The ex gf and I had a fantastic go of it only this one time. After they left I took my wife to new heights of sexual satisfaction to offset her frustration with his lack of performance. <br />
In retrospect I've often wondered if my ex gf came up with this idea to have with me that which we never successfully did while dating!
My ex and I were seduced by our friends one night. I actually wrote about how it happened but the story is several pages long. Although even today reading the story about something that happened 30 years ago it still is vivid enough to get me excited.
Get her signed up here. This new community I have found will Im sure put her at ease and introduce her good to the swinging life style.