I think being a parent is over rated. Women, for the most part, end up devoting themselves to their children and sacrificing their own careers. The, suddenly the kids are grown and out of the house and the "empty nest" syndrome begins.....and if you are really unlucky, the husband you've also taken care of for most of your life leaves for a another women,.you are stuck jobless and alone, selfish chidren living their own lives not wanting to be bothered with OLD mom. So, taking care of yourself when you are young, establishing a career and independence so you don't live in fear after of poverty after all leave you after you have been their servant for 25 years......NO WAY WOULD I DO IT OVER.........think about what I've said. Okay, it's late, I'm alone and depressed.
If you are in a committed relationship, ie married, then this is a decision for the both of you at the right time.<br />
Now, if you are contemplating your part of that decision, then I will tell you there's the good, the bad, and the ugly, like in any relationship. But with kids, you never can take away that special relationship of family that is like no other. <br />
When you do have children, it is at first difficult to give up your own selfish needs and wishes, but as you give into this, you find a deep selfless love like no other. <br />
My boys are 12, 17, and 20 and there have been times that we get frustrated beyond belief ... , but we would never decide to change this and escape the multitude of deep, life changing, life experiences, and the LOVE that comes out of and grows through these family ties. <br />
We have them and they have us, and each other as brothers, along with the extended family of cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents.... it's the special relationship of family and all of this makes it worth it. With us, even if we argue or disagree or flat out can't talk to each other for a while, I know that I can rely on my family to be there if I really needed them. <br />
Hope you can find someone to share this with you, but HANG ON! ... it's quite a ride that takes a lot of commitment and hard work - a 'never give up' attitude, lots of love, and ,,, did I say commitment? It's a lifetime position - a Gift to be Thankful for and Enjoy!
By all means, having children is my most rewarding and challenge of my life. I love my life now. 11, 9 and 5 years old. But oh, I am so scared when they grow up and leave the nest. I hope I never have to raise my Grandkids, but I hope that I someday do have Grandkids, and I hopefully will be a fun Grandma who spoils them just enough that they love coming and spending time with me and the Grandpa. Just yesterday, my 5 year old lost her first tooth. This morning, before I was hardly awake, I hear. AH! Mom! The Tooth Fairy Did Came! Did you hear our dog bark? How did she do it? Wow! "Oh Ya! A moment in time that I will treasure for a life-time. Music that sings to my soul. Thanks be to God for my children."
It's very rare that people regret having children, at most people will regret the way they turned out, but still glad they had them. The urge and psychological reward to procreate has been ingrained longer than we've even been humans.
Don't have children. For starters it's a PITA to watch them all the time. Your freedom is gone, your money is gone, your sleep is gone. Your life becomes working and working some more. You're stuck having to earn a certain amount of money to support the little monsters. There are too many people on the planet anyways. Let's cut down the population to 1 billion.
You hit the nail on the head! I'm still in search for a time machine.
Children are beautiful and wonderful to raise but as a single mother take it frm <br />
me dont have kids cuz no matter what ways your life takes it's still difficult to raise kids cuz<br />
in this horrible world. my son is 14. <br />
But it is your decision after all. just know that you've thought about to raise a child, be prepared to give up your pleasures ie. job nite life and loss of partner. Im a single mom and i dont enjoy itmuch cuz Im <br />
on my own with no lovelife.
I have two kids ten months apart and I'll tell you that truth of the matter is i have much more frustrating times then good times. My wife and i argue more and i feel the kids are sucking the life out of me one day at a time. Having children destroys your finances and you work harder for less in return. Having children is over rated. You want to be happy and enjoy life then travel the world twice.
Without. You will only feel lonely if you decide to not have a life filled with other wonderful things besides kids. You get caught up feeling like you're missing out on something when you hear other people going on & on about their little trolls, when really, you aren't missing anything but the discounted flight ticket prices to Rio for the week with a discounted exclusive hotel package while you're sitting around listening to their lies of how 'wonderful', 'fullfilling', 'awesome' etc. parenting is. My own mother finds the care of my pets more fullfilling than taking care of me, she replaced me as soon as I got one for the very first time at 13. Truth not excuses.
Better with kids
Hi, my question to all of the above people who commented would be, how many of you planned your first child? this is a very important question and please can you answer honestly for the sake of research. Thank you :-)
Having children makes you think more about the world you live in.
having kids. they keep u on ur toes. there's never a dull moment. and they bring out the free spirit n u. i know. i got 5.
I love my life. i love my kids. they are 15 10 and 1. I got plenty of one on one time with each. They have always had the best father. I really can't imagine my life without them.
life is always better when you have a child or children, its colourfull and fun. yes there are hard times but i could never imagine my life without my child she brings me so much happiness.
That is a personal choice, for me my children and grandchildren are my life.
If you don't have kids, you have a very peaceful, organised life with plenty of "alone" time. But if you do have kids, though you will be all messed up with the ups and downs trying to organise your life, you can't imagine your life without them, they are so adorable little beings. So it depends.
i can't imagine any greater love than that of being a mama.
Niether is better unless you really want kids and don't have them. Most don't regret their kids even if they did'nt plan on it...it's hard but worth it. If you fully regret your kids then theres something extremely wrong with you.
Whichever yu choose will be better. I've heard of people regretting not having kids though.
I think it is one of those difficult decisions that everyone must make for themselves. I honestly have had about ten minutes in the last 20+ years of doubting my decision to NEVER have kids. I'm 38 now and at my age a LOT of women get all panicky and try to have a baby at the last minute before their time is up -- not me! I feel less inclined than EVER to have children. It's just not for me. I love my life. I can't imagine being a parent AT ALL nor can my husband which is why we chose sterilization and have zero regrets. We're just not cut out for it and have no interest...so why do something so MAJOR, if you're not into it 100%?
As for people regretting their decision to have kids, I agree that "most" people don't seem to regret it - but I can tell you that I have been there for MANY friends and even acquaintances to hear them air their doubts and very deep regrets, and these people (mostly women) had children ranging from newborn up to adult, and they often cried and were hysterical during our conversations. So take from that what you will. I may be in a unique position to have had that conversation with so many mothers & fathers, but it's not as rare as some seem to believe.
For example a friend of mine has a son with an extremely severe disability that affects him all day, every day & will never end, a daughter with a congenital heart defect, and a son with behavioral problems who has been sexually abused by a neighbor (who was also a CHILD, not an adult abuser). Her life is nonstop chaos and drama and expensive medical treatments and she herself is suicidal. I knew her before she had kids and she was a very happy & pleasant individual who dreamed of having a beautiful, perfect little daughter she could dress up in cute outfits. She was not prepared for what she got. I think everyone who had a baby should be prepared for the kind of chaos that my friend lives with daily.