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No one can tell you what your problem is, and don't let them try! Only YOU know why this is happening, a bit of introspection is what is needed.

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How do I do that?

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do some yoga or some stretching, sit in a quiet place and relax. focus your eyes on a burning candle or close your eyes. Have the question in mind but don't try to figure it out, just look at what is happening... eventually it will come to you.

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I dont know if you should listen to someone as horribly twisted as myself, but you should do what you want, and your friends are yours to choose.

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You push them away for your protection of being hurt

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Some people have a few or only one close friend. Others like large groups of friends. It's just a matter of personal preference.

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Yes, but i don't want to hurt others in the process.

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Just be true to yourself and honest with everyone else and no one will get hurt.

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