There are just safer and healthier ways to deal with grief and other feelings. Try reaching out to someone, or find a mental health professional.
Most self-flagellation is an erotic past-time that is by its nature self-limiting. You are using it to inflict pain and injury (even if not open cuts) on yourself rather than facing up to the sadness that drives you do this. <br />
While this is not as dangerous as your other activities, you should seek help for the emotional problem, not push yourself further into it. And I speak as one fascinated by erotic spanking (not real CP - I abhor that just as I enjoy making love but abhor rape.<br />
Christina - I agree with you entirely.<br />
JVCS and Katarina - replies like yours do not help anyone with a real problem as Cat has admitted.
Beats me ;-)
You might want to consider other options to release your pain,professional help would be recommended before it progresses into debasing consequences!
What does it prove