There are just safer and healthier ways to deal with grief and other feelings. Try reaching out to someone, or find a mental health professional.
Most self-flagellation is an erotic past-time that is by its nature self-limiting. You are using it to inflict pain and injury (even if not open cuts) on yourself rather than facing up to the sadness that drives you do this.
While this is not as dangerous as your other activities, you should seek help for the emotional problem, not push yourself further into it. And I speak as one fascinated by erotic spanking (not real CP - I abhor that just as I enjoy making love but abhor rape.
Christina - I agree with you entirely.
JVCS and Katarina - replies like yours do not help anyone with a real problem as Cat has admitted.
Beats me ;-)
You might want to consider other options to release your pain,professional help would be recommended before it progresses into debasing consequences!
What does it prove