What's the 1st time like?

my first time was somewhat painful and i could have done without it. i think if i had been older and had a more mature, experienced partner, it would have been a lot better.

Make sure you have a lot of foreplay, it makes it not hurt nearly as much. It wasn't all that painful for me, and I think thats why...but that's just what I think.

Couldn't believe I wasted so much time reading comic books.

i wouldn't do it until i am married but that is entirely up to you

It will vary person to person,if you have lots of foreplay and lube,are completely relaxed and your partner is gentle then it shouldn't be all that painful,from what I've heard most girls find it a little uncomfortable.It didn't hurt me at all,but I was ridiculously turned on.

Miss selfinflicted! Looks like your staying true to your name if you pick this guy as your first lover. I don't know you but at first glance you present as much too vulnerable to be able to handle an affair with a married man who is on his way out of your life! My goodness! Don't do it.

It's a lot like the 2nd time except less money changes hands.

Oh, good GOD. Thanks for the bible lesson, but I don't think that is what the young lady was after.

I had sex as a teen, and I had zero guilt or regret, btw.

It may hurt a bit, it may not. Part of it depends on the size of his penis. A larger penis is going to be more difficult to penetrate you. Tell him to go slow, have lots of foreplay before hand. If he'll provide some oral sex before it will help relax you, and get things nice and lubricated for you. Just relax, try not to tense up, and have him go nice and slow.

Good luck, and I hope it is as wonderful as it could possibly be.

Damn, looks like I missed the Bible lesson in guilt and fear. Good thing pro390 wrote it down.

Follow the advice of the other women here and you'll be fine. Be safe, and enjoy yourself. And remember to smile, cuz there is no hell.

What About Sex Before Marriage?
‘IF YOU love each other, is it all right? Or should you wait until you’re married?’ ‘I’m still a virgin. Is there something wrong with me?’ Questions like these abound among youths.

Nevertheless, “It is the exceptional young person who has not had sexual intercourse while still a teenager,” concluded the Alan Guttmacher Institute in its 1981 report. “Eight in 10 males and seven in 10 females report having had intercourse while in their teens.”
‘And why not?’ you may ask. After all, it is only natural to want to feel loved. And when you’re young, your passions can be powerful to the point of distraction. Furthermore, there’s the influence of your peers. They may tell you that premarital sex is fun and that when you really like someone, it’s only natural to want to be intimate. Some may even say that having sex proves your manhood or womanhood. Not wanting to be viewed as odd, you may thus feel under pressure to experience sexual relations.

Contrary to popular opinion, not all youths are in a hurry to give up their virginity. Consider, for example, a young single woman named Esther. She was getting a medical checkup when her doctor matter-of-factly inquired: “What method of contraception are you using?” When Esther replied, “I’m not using any,” her doctor exclaimed: “What! Do you want to get pregnant? How do you expect not to get pregnant if you’re not using anything?” Esther replied: “Because I’m not having sex!”
Her doctor stared at her in disbelief. “This is unbelievable,” he said. “Kids come in here 13 years old, and they are no longer virgins. You are a remarkable person.”

What made Esther “remarkable”? She obeyed the Bible’s admonition: “Now the body is not for fornication [including premarital sex] . . . Flee from fornication.” (1 Corinthians 6:13, 18) Yes, she recognized premarital sex as a serious sin against God! “This is what God wills,” states 1 Thessalonians 4:3, “that you abstain from fornication.” Why, though, does the Bible forbid premarital sex?

The Aftereffects
Even in Bible times, some engaged in premarital sex. An immoral woman might invite a young man to indulge, saying: “Do come, let us drink our fill of love until the morning; do let us enjoy each other with love expressions.” (Proverbs 7:18) The Bible, however, warned that pleasures enjoyed today can cause pain tomorrow. “For as a honeycomb the lips of a strange woman keep dripping, and her palate is smoother than oil,” observed Solomon. “But,” he continued, “the aftereffect from her is as bitter as wormwood; it is as sharp as a two-edged sword.”—Proverbs 5:3, 4.

One possible aftereffect is the contracting of a sexually transmitted disease. Imagine the heartache if years later one learned that a sexual experience has caused irreversible damage, perhaps infertility or a serious health problem! As Proverbs 5:11 warns: “You have to groan in your future when your flesh and your organism come to an end.” Premarital sex also leads to illegitimacy (see pages 184-5), abortion, and premature marriage—each with its painful consequences. Yes, one engaging in premarital sex truly ‘sins against his or her own body.’—1 Corinthians 6:18.

Recognizing such dangers, Dr. Richard Lee wrote in the Yale Journal of Biology and Medicine: “We boast to our young people about our great breakthroughs in preventing pregnancy and treating venereal disease disregarding the most reliable and specific, the least expensive and toxic, preventative of both gestational and venereal distress—the ancient, honorable, and even healthy state of virginity.”
Guilt and Disappointment

Many youths have further found premarital sex to be bitterly disappointing. The result? Feelings of guilt and diminished self-respect. Twenty-three-year-old Dennis admitted: “It was a big letdown—no feeling of good or warmth of love as it was supposed to be. Rather the full realization of how wrong the act was hit me. I felt totally ashamed at my lack of self-control.” Confessed a young woman: “I came back to reality with a sickening thud. . . . The party was over and I felt sick, cheap, and dirty. It didn’t make me feel any better to hear him say, ‘Why on earth didn’t you stop us before things went too far?’”

Such reactions are not rare, according to Dr. Jay Segal. After studying the sexual activities of 2,436 college students, he concluded: “Dissatisfying and disappointing first [sexual intercourse] experiences exceeded those that were fulfilling and exciting by a ratio of almost two to one. Both males and females recalled that they were greatly disappointed.” Granted, even married couples may sometimes have their difficulties when it comes to sex. But in a marriage, where there is genuine love and commitment, such problems usually can be worked out.

The Price of Promiscuity
Some youths feel no guilt whatsoever about having relations, and so they go all out for sensual gratification, seeking sex with a variety of partners. Researcher Robert Sorensen, in his study of teenage sexuality, observed that such youths pay a price for their promiscuity. Writes Sorensen: “In our personal interviews, many [promiscuous youths] reveal . . . that they believe they are functioning with little purpose and self-contentment.” Forty-six percent of these agreed with the statement, “The way I’m living right now, most of my abilities are going to waste.” Sorensen further found that these promiscuous youths reported low “self-confidence and self-esteem.”
It is just as Proverbs 5:9 says: Those engaging in immorality “give to others [their] dignity.”


The Morning After
Once a couple have had illicit relations, they often look at each other differently. A boy may find that his feelings for the girl are not as intense as before; he may even find her less attractive. A girl, on the other hand, may feel exploited. Recall the Bible account of the young man Amnon and how lovesick he was over the virgin Tamar. Yet, after intercourse with her, “Amnon began hating her with a very great hatred.”—2 Samuel 13:15.
A girl named Maria had a similar experience. After having sexual relations, she admitted: “I hated myself (for my weakness), and I hated my boyfriend. In fact, the sex relations we thought would bring us closer ended our relationship. I didn’t even want to see him again.” Yes, by having premarital sex, a couple cross a line over which they can never go back!
Paul H. Landis, a respected researcher in the field of family life, observes: “The temporary effect [of premarital sex] may be to strengthen the relationship, but the long-term effects may be quite different.” Indeed, couples who have sex are more likely to break up than are those who abstain! The reason? Illicit sex breeds jealousy and distrust. Admitted one youth: “Some fellows, when they have intercourse, think afterwards, ‘if she had it with me maybe she had it with someone else.’ As a matter of fact, I felt that way. . . . I was extremely jealous and doubtful, and suspicious.”

How remote this is from genuine love, which “is not jealous, . . . does not behave indecently, does not look for its own interests.” (1 Corinthians 13:4, 5) The love that builds lasting relationships is not based on blind passion.


The Benefits of Chastity—Peace and Self-Respect
Staying chaste, however, does more than help a youth avoid dire consequences. The Bible tells of a young maiden who remained chaste despite intense love for her boyfriend. As a result, she could proudly say: “I am a wall, and my breasts are like towers.” She was no ‘swinging door’ that easily ‘opened up’ under immoral pressure. Morally, she stood like the unscalable wall of a fortress with inaccessible towers! She deserved to be called “the pure one” and could say of her prospective husband, “I have become in his eyes like her that is finding peace.” Her own peace of mind contributed to the contentment between the two of them.—Song of Solomon 6:9, 10; 8:9, 10.
Esther, the chaste girl mentioned previously, had the same inner peace and self-esteem. She said: “I felt good about myself. Even when workmates would ridicule me, I viewed my virginity like a diamond, valuable because it is so rare.” Additionally, youths like Esther are not plagued by a guilty conscience. “There is nothing nicer than to have a good conscience toward Jehovah God,” stated Stefan, a 19-year-old Christian.

my first time was really painful, but dont let it put you off coz after it's great ;)

don't rush, make sure your doing it for the right reasons

AlDente, you rock!

i wanted to do it my 1st time when w.e with my ex... and it took me 2 hours in the night and she wasnt a virgin and she told me she sex many times but.. later on i said no and glad i did, she later on 6 months after we broke up she went into a hospital and got test and was postive for 3 different diesesas... im only 16 and im still a virgin.. and damn proud of it, but in a sitation like yours maybe it would be worth if you both tested, and then ya... painful? my friends tell me that you feel a bit of a "popping" in the first hour or so, then later on and on and on maybe last hour before dawn it will be much bettter but the next day you will walk werid so..yaaaa

First, go to a doctor and have an exam.
Second - always insist on some form of birth control
Third - if you have any thoughts at all that he may have an STD ----DON"T DO IT
Fourth - If you have feelings for someone, the physical part of love (even the first time) is wonderful. If it is just sex it might not be so.

I would not advise you to do it....

I am old-fashioned, and believe in waiting until you're married....

But, you do not know when you will see him again.....has he been tested? Have you seen the results....Nowadays, having sex can give you a fatal disease....it's just stupid to have sex with anyone, if you haven't seen the results of their std tests....

You should think of things like this....instead of giving in to having sex, because he's leaving (sounds like you are being pressured into it)....realize, that if you two are suppose to be together...if he's the one for you, it will happen....he'll come back to you....and you'll be together....You are so young....and you don't need to make any decisions based just on him leaving....and especially when you don't know if/when you'll ever see him again.

Your virginity is very special, and you've held onto it for quite a while....be very selective....I'd hate to see you end up with a broken heart over it.....

I agree with unicorn59, dont do it only because he is leaving.. do it only if you really want, doesnt matter whether he is leaving or not... you should be really prepared and know about what may happen after you will do it...
sure it's all up to you, but I hope you will not regret if you decide to lose your virginity with your love. it may hurts, the more stressed you are, the more it will hurts. If you wanna do it, it would be good, if your pelvis muscles would be relaxed. (btw im virgin, too.. i just read it, lol)

OK a quick and easy answer for you. First time sex can be painfull and you may experience some bleeding. Some people say it doesnt hurt but then others say it did. I think the makority of women would agree there is some pain. Be safe hun ok.

All I can really say to you is think before you act.

Knowing already spoils the fun don't it?