let it out slowly but surreeellyy
Always carry a "whoopee cushion" in your pocket. After you farted (in a sitting down movement) show it to the people and ask "Who put that there?"
On leather seats you don't even need that. Just say "That wasn't me, it was the couch!". Then rub your butt on the leather, as if you were trying to recreate the sound to prove your point. That's also useful, if there is another fart ready to strike.
a loud burp covers up a loud fart. or maybe i've got it backwards...hmmmm.
Well if im trying to open a beer and hide it from someone I cough right as im cracking it open to hide the *hiss* sound. I suppose you could TRY to do the same with a fart, but if you didn't time it right it would probably sound pretty damn funny.
Well if you are in a room full of people you can always try and blame it on someone else. I had a friend who always tried to do that and sometimes even succeded. Or you can try doing what my brother calls the one cheek sneak.lol
hey if it happens it happens, say sorry or blame it on the fat guy around you LOL! i've so done it and they fell for it, poor guy.
Moustache and glasses
Stand next to a revving hot-rod.
let it out in small increments. this not only prevents you from polluting the air all at once but it's highly unlikely that it will create a sound..
If it stinks your in trouble.. lol.. no hiding that :P ummm.. yeah like what other people have said :)
Make a fart sound really loud with your mouth at the same time. It is better to look crazy then to get caught farting.
Pull and tense the cheeks then suddenly relax them with a clap of the hands! If that does not work, then put the blame on the poor sod standing closest to you!
Well, if you don't have a dog and you aren't on an elevator--owning up to a fart is a good icebreaker--I just say sorry, but I listen to my gut. Or and this always works--sorry, colonoscopy.
Scream like a siren and dance like crazy!
just go for the powertool trigger. vroom ! yep , it works! lol
or stomp your feet - it gives that killing a bug effect you know?