I don't think making a guy go to counselling will work. I think all you can do is try to use his flaws to recognize and work on your own. Be happy with who you are and practice meditation to de-stress. Do more activities on your own and get some space from him so the two of you don't interact so much right now.

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He won't go to counseling. He is happy with who he is and does not plan to change anything about himself. I do meditate and yoga. I do thank you for your input....space is a good idea and since he's traveling abroad soon, that certainly is in the future.

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If you are both open to marriage counseling that might be a good idea. You both need to work through the issue, one can't fix it. If you can't openly communicate issues it is helpful to get a trusted third party involved.

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I am open to counseling...He is not.

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Why did you put a wall up? Why don't you make a little window in it, like at a drive thru?

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funny, every time i let my guard down something happens. Clears out the cking account, plans a trip abroad with his nephew, stuff like that. VDay card made a snide comment about sex.

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Here's what you do. Go on a ridiculously expensive vacation, spend all of the money, and then send a post card telling him how much sex you're having. That should work.

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It's funny. When I see my comments in print I think WTF? Why am I such a wimp? Thanks for your sense of humor.

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Marriage counseling if you genuinely think there is something left to salvage. If not, sever the bond immidietly, you're both wasting your time. The breakup will be tough, but I think you'll both be happier with new spouses at the end of the day.

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if it was me in your situation...i'd first ask myself...do i want to save it?..then work from there.<br />
i agree with nannieskitchen....what is the point otherwise?..Life is to short to waste on marriages that won't/don't work. you'll be dead one day.

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I think people are too quick to divorce...I've been married for 12 years. It's my second marriage.

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I agree the counseling is the best path. It may take some time to find the right fit, but fixing it is far better than the alternative. You can always start by communicating in a non-judgmental way about the behaviors that cause you to put up a wall?

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first things first, you both have to recognize there is a problem.<br />
after that, most things will be (relatively) easy

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You both have to want it to work. Even if one of you isn't giving it 100%, it won't work.

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Hire a private investigator to follow him to see what he is getting up to that is making him try to sabotage your relationship. When he has succeeded, he will probably blame you for having a wall up as if he had nothing to do with it.

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