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starship33 starship33 36-40, F 27 Answers Apr 27, 2010

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ummm i was a collared submissive for 3.5 years. this is not in a mature section. will keep it vanilla. to be submissive does not mean doormat. you love him entirely mind, heart, body and soul with no restriction. you give it freely with no boundaries. Catering has limits...BIG difference

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a door mat does things she doesn't wan to, because she can't say no-for varied reasons. A woman who caters to her man does only the things she wants to, that will make her man happy.

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choice.. an a little catering can work both ways..

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love, love!<br />
:)

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Caters to a man: Because she wants to.<br />
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Doormat: Low self-esteem, bad relationship dynamics.

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A submissive woman is not at all necessarily a doormat.

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A woman who caters wants to please her man out of love.<br />
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A doormat doesn't have any self esteem to not take his S#@t !

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The difference is how the man treats the woman. The same woman can be with two totally different men and treat them both the same. The man who does not appreciate her and couldn't care less if he ever made her happy as well, is using her as a doormat. On the other hand, the man who dotes on her and makes sure they live a happy life together, is just getting catered to. Success in marriage does not come merely through finding the right partner, but through being the right partner.

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Attitude

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Respect and disrespect.

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nothing<br />
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the reason she does it is what makes her different..<br />
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she either does it because she likes to ... or because she is afraid of him and too stupid to leave .... thats the difference

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power

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What TypicalPisces said. It's a two way street.

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submissive is doing everything somone tells you. Woman who caters to her man & Loves doing things for him without being told

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Typoquene said it best. Vanilla or not, if there is a real foundation for a relationship, real love and caring there--people should do things for that person/s without having being asked, and without expecting anything in return. You do it because you want to, and you know it will make that person happy.

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I just wanted to comment on the wording of this question because it actually really bothers me. The words "submissive" and "doormat" do not automatically belong together. I am submissive. I am not a doormat. Being submissive leads me to cater more to my man. Being a doormat would imply a tendency towards weakness. Most submissives are very strong individuals who make a choice to hand over control. There's a big difference.

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The biggest difference really comes from the man she's with. If he's demanding and un-reciprocating, then a woman who caters to him is pretty much being a doormat. On the other hand, if he's not overly demanding and he's willing to reciprocate then she isn't being a doormat at all... besides, wouldn't your guests trip if a woman were your doormat? :P

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I don't see the difference. I think that people that love each other try to make each other happy willingly and equally.

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One does it because she wants to out of love, the other feels that it is her duty and equates it with love. One can quit and still be all right, the other will feel guilt.

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Choice. Wait...then again...IS there a difference?

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