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What's up with my wacky personality?

when I was about 13 I decided I was going to start being a "sociopath" to get it on with the damaged goods chicks, to escape responsibility at school, escape bonding with dorky kids, helping around the house, getting money, you name it. Then I start to realize, wow, I've been doing this mental game for 4 years now. By mental game I mean I never actually told people "I'm antisocial" when I did things, rather I think in my head "c'mon your a sociopath now" "grow a pair" but apparently ONLY a sociopath would do
such a thing people say, but other people say real sociopaths don't know they are actually sociopaths. So, what the hell is up with me? Why don't I just act sane i know I am sane but why do these impulses and instincts just make me look like dirt? haha

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