When my mother died. I was very young and yes 50+ years later it does still affect me. I miss her greatly.
When my father knocked on my bedroom door & said son your mams dead,, then six weeks later watching my father die in front of me. Then getting beaten the living crap beaten out of me by the people who were supposed to look after me, yep life was a giggle at the age of 14.
I have a few. Ones that really stand out are the when my father came to pick me and my older sister up from a friends house with a bloody eye. He was jumped by my oldest cousin's bf (now husband) and his friends one night. He could never see out of that eye again. And now he has glaucoma in the only eye he can see out of, but it's really bad. It makes me very angry to this day....because now my father may lose his sight forever. The other incident was when I was physically attacked by my mother's son who was twice my age. I was thirteen when it happened. It still haunts me, because it has only been a few years.
Being really sick and having surgery. I have severe anxiety when I go to the doctors now and freak out if anything feels off for fear of me getting really sick again
I hate seeing police. I've never met a good 'cop' my whole life.
Loosing my virginity to a brutal rape @ 17. Remembering but knowing he got raped numerous times in jail and that unless he is 100+ he is dead & can't hurt another child or person!
My worst childhood memory is being sexually abuse and its affects my age today in that I can never fully enjoy sex and have always had low libido.
I hope it's a false memory, but I see my mother in the room as I'm being molested, having the intent to make sure there was no penetration. I don't trust because of more solid memories of childhood experiences, but this one gives me extra pause around women.
Worst: Drinking so much I passed out and my dad was pulling me out of the shower my mom and brother had put me in. He was slapping me. I asked him why, he wanted to know if I had taken anything. (just alcohol, and lots of it, everything behind their bar downstairs!)<br />
Knowing that was how/when I started to use mind altering substances to cope with life's curve balls. A guy I really liked went out with another girl. <br />
I don't have to do that anymore, but it sure took me a long time to figure it out! 13-38!!
Worst childhood memory? Being spanked for crying and told he wouldn't stop unless I stop crying. I don't trust anyone today. I am fearful. I want love and can never find it. I crave death.