When a relationship involving children ends, why does the child (usually) automatically end up with the mothe?

Oh, that's changing! In my state, and many others, joint custody, both physical and legal, is now MANDATORY!

The reason mothers USED to automatically get awarded custody was because, well, divorce wasn't as commonplace as it is now, and when divorce laws were first instituted, not that many women worked outside the home. It was only natural that they should be granted custody as they had spent the most time raising the children.

But now, being as both parents work, well, that rationale no longer exists! It's just taking a little bit of time for the court systems in certain states to "catch up!"

In my state, every divorced couple I know has JOINT custody of the children, and fathers retain the exact same rights to see and spend time with their children and remain as much a part of their lives as their mothers.

In my state, fathers with joint custody are also only required to pay child support IF they earn more than the mother, and then, only a reduced amount to help equalize the earnings of both parents. If the woman earns more, then SHE'S the one who now pays the father!

men don't want the responsibility most of the time. they're not able to juggle work and children without a spouse. but this isn't always true...i dated a man who had custody of his three teenage sons and did a darn good job of it!

Umbilical cord

Because the courts assume that women are better at raising children than men.

Because men are glad to relieve custody and go on their way. Some mothers take away the fathers right to even see their own child.

It's a higherarcle view that the mother A)is the victim and B)the mother would be the best to teach the ways of life to off spring but we are finding out that's not always the truth !!

It's not quite so automatic anymore. I know a few neb who have custody of their childeren. Not many, but some. But in some cases, the fathers don't want total custody.

My X refused to change a diaper, feed the baby, drank and drove all the time... Did not work and I still could not leave the baby with him while I was at work. He was still a little boy living in a mans body.

This works in reverse, I am sure. I know there are lazy women out there as well.

I think it all stems from the fact that before formula, the woman had the boobs to feed the little ones in the first place.

In my case, I have the most loving bond with the little man, my X just wanted to party. I think whomever is the grownup in the relationship nowdays keeps the children.

Sometimes they don't I ended up having to deal with a step-brat from day 1.

...

in my neighborhood.. of all my friends.. actually

EVERYONE I HAVE EVER KNOWN!! had a l0ser dead beat dad.. including myself (if I truly think about it) and my husband...

mother getting custody .. is a good thing.

but I do understand if there are good fathers out there and don't even get a chance.. that is unfair.

Because of the thought that the mother will be the better parent. Sometimes, that's just crazy, and it's really unfair to all the good fathers out there who are going through a divorce. Believe it or not (directed to the system), some mothers aren't good parents!!
Things like that should not just be automatic. Where the children live during the divorce should be decided first thing, and they should have a say in it too, as well as the parents being able to provide reasons as to who would better take care of the kids.
My bf's coworker is going through a divorce right now. His to-be ex-wife is psycho from what I understand. She sounds really messed up to me, but she's not a druggie or anything. She doesn't take care of the kids well, and she often sends them to the guy anyway, and he has to do everything for them that she neglects to do! He probably has the kids most of the time and buys what they need and everything, but HE still has to pay HER child support, automatically deducted from his pay check when he's doing the majority of caring for them anyway!
It's SO messed up.

100% equal. Thats what I say. Im tired of seeing the good fathers get ****** over all the time. I knew of a drug addict mother who got custody of the children. IT happens all the time here in Texas. And its pathetic.

It doesn't happen that way. My sister-in-law did not get custody. Her ex-husband did.

Used to be like that, but not anymore...I know some men that has custody of their children and they're really good at it!...they're there for their children more than the mother ever was....but I also know some men that wouldn't want custody of their children, they say it's the mother's job...and they simply visit their children.

Most of the time. I knew two kids who's dad got custody. He deserved it more than their mom.

I have strong feelings about this. My mother wouldn't let my father see me. In fact, she kidnapped me in the middle of the night and moved to another part of the country. Because of her I grew up without a father, and I was a daddy's girl when I was small. I wish my father would have gotten custody.