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I prefer to be confronted
Literaturegirl Literaturegirl 46-50, F 14 Answers Sep 1 in Community

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If you are talking about psychological denial, then confronting the person will not do any good - as the truth is too painful for them to accept.

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Working within psychology, confronting is the modus operandi. But yes, the denial is there as the truth is too painful, and denial a defence

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Are you trying to baffle me with knowledge? If I'm in denial, won't confronting me just strengthen my denial (even if that is the common approach)?
I think I'd prefer to be guided to the truth at a pace that I could handle.

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If you're wise, confronting you will help you; it will seep through, and it might make it very difficult to continue to deny. But guiding seems a good idea too, but might well simply collude with you

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well, if everyone could collude, would that solve the problem?

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Being confronted, which is why it's a therapy mainstay. And then your taking responsibility

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Wouldn't they need to overcome the denial as well as confront the issue?

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It's not only the therapist who needs to do the work. But the denial and the issue are usually directly linked

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If they're doing something which could end their life or destroy it, confront.

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Yes, seems the right thing to do imho

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confront :D always

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That's what I would do too

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why does that not surprise me :)

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No idea Bill ;)

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It depends if someone is close to me, and if they have a habits of lostening

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*listening*

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That's the ideal, that the person concerned does have the habit of listening. Many who are in denial don't have that habit though seems to me, but I believe at some level they do hear anyway

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That's the old contradiction, everybody expect you to be honest, but get angry when you tell em the truth.

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The anger is more of the denial! Another defence. In the longer term if they're wise they will respect you for it, be grateful. This is what a true friend does imho, but while also having to accept it might not go down too well with the person concerned to begin with

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You sure you prefer to be confronted? I tried but it got worse.

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Well, not aggressively no. But if I'm clearly denying something, I appreciate very much those friends who suggest that I am, wake me up from it. Maybe sometimes the person is so deep in denial, your confronting won't work for a while, but the words would have gone in and might result in change later down the line

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So I need to be patience, is that it? And keep on reminding? Cmon tell me directly,its easier to confront men than women in denial. I need to keep on confronting her?

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One thing is tough love. If it's something like an addiction and you make a threat, like saying you'll leave if she doesn't get help, you'd have to stand by this. Trying over and over with no change could make you "co-dependent" but letting someone know you see the denial can help them over time

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So leaving is one way huh. I get you. I heard you. Thank you

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Or having your say, and then not otherwise involving yourself with the addiction in any way - detaching but with love. Just don't make a threat, and then not carry it out. Addicts are good at seeing through this. But if you say you leave and do it, could be a wake up call for them. Sometimes they have to hit rock bottom though before they recover, sadly

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Sadly but true. It's the right thing to do. I just wish there is other kind method,but I guess,sometimes you need it in order to be kind.

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ah, you say that now...

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And have done it, had it done too

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…would take a true friend to make that choice...

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I love true friends, and aim to be one if I can

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I would deny it.

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Being confronted you mean? ;)

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It depends if it harmless and a reason of their happiness, than why not let them be in denial. Otherwise, I have same stance as yours :)

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I would confront if I care enough and hound them to death possibly or until they throw me out. Otherwise I will just let it be.

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I'm with you! :)

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:)

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