When you stop feeling sorry for yourself and move on.
When you are no longer defined by it, have forgiven it become stronger from it and more cautious the next time around.
First you have to stop playing "I'm a victim, boo hoo." When you accept responsibility for your own actions, then and only then can you get on with your life
that is tougher done than said.... Forgetting comes with grieving (5 stages of grief). It is a long process to grieve the past and grieve every single incident that you remember. I had to do it. New thinking needs to be put in place too. Example: Someone says to you "you are a hateful person and can do nothing!". Put your truth in there instead. Example: I am a loving person who can do so much and has a lot to offer". It is a rough process but well worth it. Good luck :)
I don't think it is possible to 'forget' something as profound as verbal and emotional abuse. The pain goes beyond the physical and affects your spirit and scars the very essence of who you are. BUT...you can get beyond it, heal from it, learn how to forgive and become stronger and better for it. I truly believe that from every negative experience....is a positive life lesson. When you can get to the point where it no longer has any power over you or your life, you will know that it is behind you. If you have someone you can talk to and can trust with that very vulnerable part of yourself, you are on your way to healing. If you don't have anyone, please make that a priority in your life so you can have the help you may need to get through it.
remain quiet and think before you speak anythng again
You can accept it, forgive it in order to be healed from it, but it must be done Now.
I discovered mercy and forgiveness in my soul...not forgetfulness...and that was actually better....because I was able to understand...reduce the importance of what happened...and move on with my life. That happened for me after I was able to distance myself physically from the people involved....and in a couple of cases...after they passed away.
You never will, but you can let go of it.
I'm almost sixty, was verbally abused and shamed by my mom from infancy to puberty. It has left deep scars in my self esteem and self image. Ten years ago I came to the realization that those scars are a part of me and in many ways made me the compassionate person I am. That doesn't excuse what she did. It is taking lemons and making lemon-aid, because that is all we can really do.
I wish you luck in your life journey.
You might never forget it and that, in itself is NOT the worst thing as it may help remind you of what YOU DO NOT want in your life. You CAN forget some of the loss and mistakes that you have made (we all make them) and forgive yourself and move on after you have healed. Some memories can be very hard to forget but we can "live with them" if we face them and take the "pain" out of them.
Damage from verbal and emotional abuse is insidious. It is DEEP psychological and emotional work sometimes requiring therapy; DBT/CBT or EMDR have been proven VERY helpful.
STARTING where you are right now and accepting yourself is crucial. I have found that "finding myself, healing from abuse and learning to dream again" is a process that I have to constantly TELL MYSELF that I AM WORTH IT...whatever it takes, whatever the pain of memories, whatever the time it takes...I AM WORTH IT...
Never, you can heal enough to be happy though.
When you've made peace with it...
With the support of your loved ones :) They will bring you up stronger than ever my friend. But you yourself have to face this monster inside you. Never keep reading the past chapters of your life, because you can never start on a new chapter. Its never easy but you have to believe in yourself.