Resolved Question

I'm in a very bad phase right now in my relationship. Someone I truly care about is gone from me. He left unexpectedly and I don't know when or if I'll ever see him again. We are not allowed any contact with each other, not even a phone call. I've been waiting a very long time for him, but I'm not sure if I should anymore. I've tried to stay positive, I pray, I look up things on the internet to try and get a better understanding of what he is dealing with at this time. My boyfriend is in rehab for drug abuse.

Most people I've talked to about it have said a lot of nasty things about him. They don't even know him, but as soon as I mention he is in drug rehab, they stop me right there and tell me I should not be with someone with a 'problem' like that. The thing is, he's NOT a bad person. He just got caught up in bad things and made bad decisions. He's actually a quite decent, and very intelligent human being. We've known each other since we were kids. We had huge crushes on each other, too, but a day came where I had no idea that would be the last time I saw him for almost 6 years. I never ever forgot about him, though. I decided one day, randomly, I'd try and look him up on MySpace. Luckily, he had one, and it was like we had never been apart from each other.

I never knew he had any sort of problem, but he'd always say he was a bad person. I didn't understand why because to me, he was the only person that actually made me feel comfortable in my skin. And that's not what bad people do... He always hid his drug intake from me, which made me furious and was the cause of every fight we had. I find out, out of nowhere, he was sent to rehab and I would not be allowed visitation or calls from him, but I would be able to write him. And, of course, I did. I was okay with it to begin with, but as days went by, it just got harder and harder. I told myself that he was worth this and I love him far too much to give up on what we have. I refused to let this setback ruin our relationship.

After reading posts from users online that have family members or their partners in rehab, they all talk about how their relationships have changed. And not for the better. I read everywhere that rehab changes people, and relationships usually don't stand a chance afterwards. I despise knowing that. I don't want that to be the case with us. I've prayed so much during this time, I've posted about it too much, I've tried talking to people. Nothing I do helps because I don't know what's going on in his heart at this time. I know it sounds selfish of me to be more worried about if he and I will still be together rather than turn the focus on him getting the proper help to make him into a healthier, happier person. That's not the case here, I want him to get better, but I also want to be able to spend my life with him after he gets out.

My question to you all is, what would you do in a situation like this? Or have you guys been in this situation or one similar to it? What was your experience? And would you give up or fight for your relationship?

i think that maybe you should take this time for yourself. i had an uncles that was a heroine addict. it was my father who found out and took him to a rehab center. a person with an addiction is like anyone with an obsession. sometimes they don't see anything wrong with what they are doing, sometimes they seek help. it is a very courageous thing for him to seek help like he has.
it is very true that the world changes for them. my uncle had to surround himself with new friends, get rid of his old connections and even stop seeing people he used to because he was afraid of being tempted to fall back into the habit. not only that, he had to train himself in new habits, and try to fill his day with things that would keep his mind occupied. it was a HUGE struggle for him. on top of all of that, everyone seemed to think the worst of him, and didn't want to associate with him (his family - my father's side) and this depressed him very much.

i feel that maybe you should take this time to take care of yourself and properly prepare your heart for the worst as well as the best. i know that it is hard, but be there for him, support him, cheer him on his progress, and don't judge him. i wish you the very best:)