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hexr007 hexr007 36-40, M 5 Answers Jun 2, 2012

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When you have to take care of yourself. That is when.

It's great to help others and I do it all the time, but when you are down, then you need to take care of yourself or you are no good to anyone else.

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Well, let me explain further. The people I am refering to are my nieces and nephews. I am worried that if I move away they are not going to be ok due to the fact that their mother hasn't grasped the concept of motherhood after 16 years, she doesn't realize that its not all about her anymore.. My brother tries and I give him credit because to have put up with this woman for almost 20 years, lets just say hes a better man than I. She's 34 and has tamtrums like a teenager and usually infront of the kids, slamming door, cursing all over the place,drives me crazy, but I hold my tongue to not make things worse....

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It's not your place to take care of his kids, even though they are family. If he asks you to help that is one thing. But you have to live your life and go one your way. Now I know this will sound rough but I feel I need to say it. No one ever said that anyone had to meet your expectations of being a suitable Mother.
Your brother chose her, and has stayed with her so he has made his decision.

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You are right it was and is his decision to stay with her, but the kids should not have to go thru what they go thru on a daily basis and often look to me for guidance, help, or someone to just hang out with. My brother shouldnt have to ask me for help when I can see clear as day that he needs it, but he wont ask for it.

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You don't have to fully let go. And if you feel obligated, then you should do what you can for the kids. Otherwise, I think you'll always wonder what would have happened if you at least tried. But you need to take time when you can and separate yourself. Find ways to make yourself stronger. Find your own activities and friends that make you happy. But I wouldn't let go if you are someone those kids need or can turn to in a time of need.

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