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Justkeepwalking Justkeepwalking 36-40, M 7 Answers May 5, 2012

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Yeah it happens all the time, some people even like to overlap their relationships.

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Is this ethically ok?

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No, but a lot of people do it anyway.

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Common would be a better word for it. I have been on the receiving end of this. It's not nice to be on the receiving end, but sh!t happens sometimes. <br />
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The person could have deep issues or it could just be a stage that they are going through or something. They could be looking for a particular type of relationship or person and will just keep on moving on until they find it. It's not the best way to find a decent relationship. <br />
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My most recent ex jumped from one relationship to another, sometimes the relationships would overlap (he was cheating) and when I looked into his relationship history, I noticed that he had a lot of very short term relationships and no long term ones that I knew about. <br />
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My ex was a dreamer and was more into the idea of the romance in a relationship rather than the realities of a relationship. As soon as the romance fades and the reality sets in, he moves on. That's fine, but I am the opposite. I am more interested in the realities than the romance. I wish him all the best and hope he finds what he is looking for, I highly doubt that he will though. Poor guy.<br />
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Don't worry about it too much, this person wasn't for you. They are either frantically looking for a relationship that matches their unrealistic ideals of what a relationship should be or perhaps you just weren't the one for them? Either way, they are not worth wasting any more time thinking about them. Take some time out for yourself, listen to some angry "you dumped me you arsehole/b!tch" music and then get out and be sociable. You will forget about this person in no time.

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Thank you for your advice.. I'm really sorry about what happened with your guy.. I have been reading a bit about co dependency and the irony is that this girl is a frequent yoga class attendee and worked in the self-help industry.. Somehow, I don't think I'll be attending the same seminars ..

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I completely agree. I was also on the receiving end of this phenomena and found out many of the same facts concerning my ex. She was also a dreamer in that same sense and only had one long-term relationship that was physically and verbally abusive. This was what I was talking about earlier about emotional maturity, where you can move from the idea of romance into the mechanics of functioning and healthy relationship. I don't think my ex ever had one before, even though I would like to think I could have been that. . . alas.

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Devastated1234 , people who are involved with the self-help industry are there for a reason. Be wary of this in the future. Many people who get involved with the self help industry do work through their issues and get over them, but no one gets into the self-help industry if they didn't have issues to begin with. I also partially work in the self-help industry, I can tell you right now that I wouldn't be here if I didn't have issues that I needed to work through. Some people do get over their issues, but you really need to be wary of people who are involved with the self-help industry. They are only there because they needed help in the first place. Like I said, some people do work through their issues so please don't dismiss them but do ask them why and how they got into that industry in the first place. Trust your instincts too. People who work in the self-help industry do tend to be the best bullsh!t artists.

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I agree with you Arimatheus, emotional maturity is a huge part of it. I know that from my own experience. 10 years ago I would have run away from a big argument, but now I want to confront it, sort it out then and there and I judge how well a relationship is doing by how well my partner and I managed the argument.

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Interesting point Arimetheus.. This girl also described her ex as emotionally and verbally abusive. She used this as her logic and reason for having 3 "emotional affairs" on her ex husband. I recently read up on womens infidelity and discovered that this is a pattern of behaviour...She described her emotional affairs as kissing and oral with no intercourse. How does that work?
Interestingly enough, a friend of mine is quite close with the ex husband and he has been described as quite a gentleman. His new girlfriend is absolutely in love with him and he has not abused her in any way shape or form once.
Whilst I was with her, he was sending apologetic text messages that she described as abusive. When she showed them to me, I thought they seemed quite sincere and he genuinely wanted her back. I found that if he was so abusive, why would he want to be with a cheating wife? Wouldn't he have beaten the crap out of her or made her suffer in some way? At one point I told her that i felt sorry for him and she went crazy!
Fatalcharm you are so right!, I have also been involved a little in the self help industry but not heavily.. Moreso, from a business perspective. The biggest irony is that one of the 3 men that she had an affair with is a self help guru/ public speaker. Surely, wouldn't these clowns know that sleeping with another mans wife is not a cause for happiness?

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It happens so often now that when people do things like that, then it kind of just tends to become the norm, but it isn't looked on in a good light. I agree with TakumiUsui..

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Ok... let's add this to the mix... If girl had 3 emotional affairs on her ex husband,,, became separated, meets a new guy gets dumped, sleeps with a new guy ( offering the former guys c...doms) and then moves onto the next guy.. How would you describe this behaviour?

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she's a ****!. Clearly no care for the former partners and shouldn't be trusted. I wasn't agreeing with the behavior, I was agreeing with the "Once you find them, never let them go" statement.. LOL. That person shouldn't be described as a woman because it is meant for a 'woman' to be caring and she sounds like she doesn't care in the slightest.. I hope there are no children involved in this because I cannot see them growing up to be honest and caring persons if they have a mother like that..

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What goes through a persons head when they do this kind of thing?

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i have no idea.. i only cheated once when i was 15 and i still regret that eventhough I had no idea what i was doing.. i would never cheat on my partner.. the most respectful thing to do is to talk to them and let them know what your feeling and that you cannot stay with them. if you met someone else then waiting a while would be more better because of the feeling you were feeling with your last partner, then you probably wont be in the right frame of mind to give someone else your true self you know?

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Thank you :)

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Even the farthest of skipping stones, at last falls to the bottom.

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Depends on the depth. If there's no depth, he/she's a pla<x>yer. <br />
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If he/she gets in deep and and then cuts out, it shows they have the emotional maturity of a 14 year old and they never really grew up.

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Very interesting point.. Thanks

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Yes, that's the way to find your soulmate. But, once you find that person never let go.

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How about if you are on the receiving end?

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Really..? That's how you find your soul mate..? *facepalm*

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Pretty same, If the other person don't think that you are his ONE , then he isn't your ONE either.. move on.

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