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kalishmd kalishmd 46-50 17 Answers Nov 21, 2010

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There is a book called, "Verbal Judo". Worth reading. But personally, I think life is too short, and nobody is worth shortening our lives and risking our health over. They are toxic people. Toxic people need to hang out with other toxic people. So, walk away, walk away...

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You can tell the person quietly and seriously that you don't appreciate their language and that you won't discuss anything with them until they decide to speak to you civilly and then leave the immediate area.

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Look them right in the eye and just stare. Don't react to anything they do. Practice in the mirror. I've got it down so good I can pretty much pyschologically crush anyone. Then when you see that they're crushed. You just smile and say "hmm" as if to say "That was interesting" and then you walk off.

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Tell them in a very civilized tone that you don't appreciate them speaking to you in a disrespectful manner, and will not tolerate their abuse any longer. Have a nice day and walk away.

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Hold your hand up in front of their face, palm out in the "Stop" gesture and say, "STOP!" Then, when they pause, tell them you will talk to them when they can express themselves more calmly. Then, if they don't calm down, leave and say they can talk to you when they are calm and respectful.



This tip is from an excellent book I read, Take The Bully By The Horns by Sam Horn.



Another tip: Don't not make "I" statements to a bully, make "you" statements. What works best with ordinary people (usually "I" statements) doesn't work well with a bully (who needs to hear some "you" statements).

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From experience, you could say all the right things, polite things, swear and yell back, but nothing, nothing ****** them off more than silence because alot of it is in aide of a response they want to know that they are under your skin and having an affect on you and as long as they are getting this response chances are that they will continue the behavior. If you are with the person try and walk away if its possible. Otherwise, block emails, and turn off your phone, the less you hear of it the less it will affect you. Never easy but some times its all you can do.

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Leave you don't need that! People like that very rarely change it only gets worse!

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It really depends on who it is and where this is happening and what their relationship to you is. If it is at work, there are ways that you can resolve this, if it is at home the challenge is bigger.

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You can't control them, you can only control how you react. Don't reward bad behavior with letting them get a rise out of you, and speak quietly, almost whispering- cuz it is sooooooo annoying to them while they are yelling. Don't mirror image their body language in any way, or say something snide. Just say, "I'm not going to allow anyone to talk at me like this." Repeat it, repeat it, repeat it.

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If it is a female, it is best to leave or avoid places they go to. But I would not do this until I told them they are an assO.

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Listen a minute or two in pretense as if to show you are attentive. In silence, your hand moves up to indicate , "HALT". In a few words, take over and address the person, "you ought to get your facts right, you ought to tone your voice, and you ought to talk to me with respect in the right place at the right time. Can we meet at ..... in...... .

Take control and be directive.

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I usually just get verbally abusive back, but a bit worse so they can see how it feels. That generally calms them down.

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Tell 'em to **** off.



Well, someone had to say it.

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