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They may change themselves....But you CHANGE them, no way! What do you have to say about this? Details, please. Thanks. I am really interested in this one.
PoetryNEmotion PoetryNEmotion 51-55, F 10 Answers Jul 16, 2012

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No, you can't change anyone but yourself, though it is possible to instill the desire in someone to change for the better or inspire them to do so, either for you or for themselves, but in the end, it is they who are choosing to change.

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Excellent answer. You are wise. xoxoxo

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People always change.

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Change is inevitable. Your words are valid. Thank you.

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I expect them to change because all people change, given time. Change as a person? Maybe not. But in their beliefs and opinions? Certainly. I would never ask someone to change, or try to compel them to, because it's doomed to failure and, quite frankly, if I wanted them to change, then why the heck would I be marrying them? But at the same time, I would account for those changes that are inevitable, and hopefully love them all the same. Because again, you can't expect someone to stay with you forever if you don't want to stay with them.

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I like this answer! Thank you!

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I feel the same way violetdeath. I wonder why people are for changing their spouse's outlook, behavior, etc. I don't know if it's the thrill of knowing that you have the ability to change someone as soon as you're married to the person.

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I don't think I'd go into a marriage expecting any major behavior changes because those would have been made while dating if they were to be made.

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Sounds right. Do you really think any changes that are everlasting are made during the courting stage? Really?

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Really..I have no idea if they are everlasting because I've not been in an everlasting relationship.

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But you have dated...Now answer that question based on what you know...

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When you get married you have to know that they will change but you cannot change them. Those changes will be some good and some bad. That's why COMMITMENT is important.

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Excellent sentiment!

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I wouldn't marry anyone if I needed them to change first... thats a big gamble

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I know that....I meant that a woman whose fiance had problems would say," Oh, he'll change when we are married. He will just change cause he should. So I won't worry about it now."

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I think they COULD change. Its possible. Anything is possible.

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That is a big gamble on her part, thinking her fiance will change after they are married. Not smart on her part assuming such a thing. As everyone else has said, it is his ultimate decision to do so and could be helped by her inspiration/motivation. She is burying her head in the sand pretending there is nothing wrong and will have to deal with problems sooner or later. To me it is a big red flag if any change is thought to be needed. Proceed with caution! lolol

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couldn't have said it any better :)

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Does the fact that you're married make any difference? Would you change for the person if you weren't married?

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I would change if I thought it was right. I am not perfect. Neither is he. Change for good is necessary. Getting married doesn't mean anyone will change a habit that is undesirable.

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