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When you're talking to a new potential date/ serious partner, how soon do you discuss s3x?

I've been talking to a guy I kind of like and even though it has only been about a week, we have really bonded and there is a bit of chemistry that we are both amazed at. He is already bringing up questions about s3x and my preferences and dislikes, etc.
My question is, when is it too soon for it to be discussed? I don't want to seem easy and I want a serious relationship, not a fwb. Do I discuss it with him with the clear statement that it doesn't mean I will be s3xual with him? Or is even discussing it inappropriate this early?

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24 Answers to "When you're talking to a new potential date/ serious partner, how soon do you discuss s3x?"

  1. biancaknowsnothing - 22-25 years old - female

    Posted by biancaknowsnothing Jan 14th, 2013 at 9:44PM

    yesterday.

    Like (5)

  2. michellel1978 - 31-35 years old - female

    Posted by michellel1978 Jan 14th, 2013 at 9:55PM

    I think this answer would be different with anyone you may ask. I personally would not put a time on it, just talk about it when you're comfortable. Just because you may discuss it with him doesn't mean you have to act on it right away.

    Like (4)

  3. HeartLikeAChild - 46-50 years old - male

    Posted by HeartLikeAChild Jan 14th, 2013 at 11:08PM

    I would wonder where his mind is at because when I meet someone I am interested in seriously, I want to get to know her soul ....not just something shallow like "her sèxual preferences".

    With someone I have serious intentions for, my mind would be focusing on spending maximum quality time with her and conjuring up excuses to spend more and more time together.

    Like (3)

  4. Bandiroux - 51-55 years old - male

    Posted by Bandiroux Jan 14th, 2013 at 10:17PM

    It can vary but talking about the likes and dislikes at an early stage esp. if you have not done it seems like the guy is scoping out a potential prude. He sounds like he like sex just a little bit too much. Personally I think that is weird.

    Like (3)

  5. SpiritOfTheRabbit - 31-35 years old - female

    Reply by SpiritOfTheRabbit Jan 14th, 2013 at 10:42PM

    I was worried about that too.

    Like (1)

  6. Bandiroux - 51-55 years old - male

    Reply by Bandiroux Jan 14th, 2013 at 10:49PM

    I mean just hinting about intimacy at a early stage of a relationship is pushing it. But talking about likes and dislikes ? - oh man - sounds like this guy is trouble - because it is not going to taper down - if anything it will escalate up.. Do yourself a favor and be careful - I mean dump him, there are a lot of guys out there.

    Like (1)

    2 more replies
  7. TheWomanWhoDid - 31-35 years old - female

    Posted by TheWomanWhoDid Jan 14th, 2013 at 10:44PM

    Just ask his general thoughts on it...and don't deny any passion later. You don't have to engage in sex, just because you discuss it.... Be an independent lady and own your libido.

    Like (2)

  8. sumnerkagan - 41-45 years old - male

    Posted by sumnerkagan Jan 14th, 2013 at 10:27PM

    Women over-think this.

    I've been in a 5-year relationship with a girl I had sex with the night I met her, and in equally serious relationships with girls who didn't "put out" for months. My wife is a woman I knew I could have the moment I laid eyes on her - and I was right, 2 drinks and a kiss and it was home to bed. We argue about who played who that night, actually ;)

    It just depends on too many factors for there to be one hard-and-fast (badum bum) rule.

    Like (2)

  9. Rolle2323 - 56-60 years old - female

    Posted by Rolle2323 Jan 14th, 2013 at 9:50PM

    I would be DOING it instead of talking about it...but that's just me.

    Like (2)

  10. MyNameIsQ - 22-25 years old - male

    Posted by MyNameIsQ Jan 14th, 2013 at 9:50PM

    Usually before we get involved. There needs to be compatibility there.

    Like (2)

  11. inthebelljar - 26-30 years old - female

    Posted by inthebelljar Jan 14th, 2013 at 9:49PM

    well discussing s3x is not the same as having s3x.. so there's nothing wrong with talking about it, through conversation you can let the guy know that you want a relationship, don't want to rush into s3x, etc.. but there is also nothing wrong with stating that you are not yet comfortable discussing certain topics..

    Like (2)

  12. Ikid - 22-25 years old

    Posted by Ikid Jan 14th, 2013 at 9:48PM

    I would discuss it with him but completely disguise it in inappropriate innuendos. Or you could just play him any of the bloodhound gang's music. No really though, if he's bringing it up and you're comfortable, I don't see why not. But if you're uncomfortable with it then wait a while longer.

    Like (2)

  13. SpiritOfTheRabbit - 31-35 years old - female

    Reply by SpiritOfTheRabbit Jan 14th, 2013 at 9:50PM

    Will talking about it with him so soon make him take our potential less seriously? Will he think of me as an easy hook up?

    Like (1)

  14. Ikid

    Reply by Ikid Jan 14th, 2013 at 9:55PM

    Well I don't see any harm in letting him know that you're looking for something serious! If that seems to be a big turn off for him, then it's not because that's just not one of those things you shouldn't ask, it's because he wasn't. Two adults should absolutely be able to talk about what they want out of a relationship/ potential relationship. Being on the same page is important.

    Like (1)

    2 more replies
  15. sfvq9801 - 26-30 years old - male

    Posted by sfvq9801 Jan 14th, 2013 at 9:44PM

    3 to 6 dates is appropiate enough

    Like (2)

  16. Lotuseena - 18-21 years old - female

    Posted by Lotuseena Apr 7th, 2013 at 7:54AM

    We'd be doing it

    Like (1)

  17. crazychica369 - 22-25 years old - female

    Posted by crazychica369 Jan 14th, 2013 at 10:35PM

    I'd say the first date.

    Like (1)

  18. JohnDBG - 56-60 years old - male

    Posted by JohnDBG Jan 14th, 2013 at 10:19PM

    I ask my potential date about her beliefs about sleeping together BEFORE the first date. The women that I date already know that sex will be part of our relationship, as soon we are comfortable with each other, which is sooner rather than later. I'm not saying that I have slept with every date, because we may decide we're just not right for each other. But I am saying that I don't date women who say they will not consider sleeping with me, especially if they claim they are waiting to get married. To me, sex is a form of intimacy, like touch and kissing, and talking about my deepest feelings. It's not a "secret" or something I am saving for someone. Sex is part of a healthy relationship.

    Like (1)

  19. lessthanhero - 31-35 years old - female

    Posted by lessthanhero Jan 14th, 2013 at 10:10PM

    If there's chemistry, right away.

    Like (1)

  20. DoctorOz - 56-60 years old - male

    Posted by DoctorOz Jan 14th, 2013 at 9:49PM

    Tell her how she she performed soon afterwards after a nap and sandwich.

    Like (1)

  21. TennesseeOralBoy - 18-21 years old - male

    Posted by TennesseeOralBoy Jan 14th, 2013 at 9:47PM

    I usually have sex first then talk about how good it was afterward.

    Like (1)

  22. dukedukedevlin - 22-25 years old - male

    Posted by dukedukedevlin Jan 14th, 2013 at 9:46PM

    i don't actudally have a specified period, but anyways, in my last relation.s. we started discussing sex after the first 3 months

    Like (1)

  23. Andromachus - 36-40 years old - male

    Posted by Andromachus Jan 14th, 2013 at 9:46PM

    Date #2... remember it's sêx not love... love needs time

    Like (1)

  24. editor1979 - 31-35 years old - male

    Posted by editor1979 Jan 14th, 2013 at 9:46PM

    I use sex as an ice breaker.

    Like (1)

  25. Andromachus - 36-40 years old - male

    Reply by Andromachus Jan 14th, 2013 at 9:47PM

    I think I found my new idol.

    Like (1)

  26. SpiritOfTheRabbit - 31-35 years old - female

    Reply by SpiritOfTheRabbit Jan 14th, 2013 at 9:48PM

    ?

    Like (1)

    1 more reply

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