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Where can I go to get help I feel so mently awful all the time and where can I go that my family won't find out about it

Okay so I have a couple problems I can list them I have been cutting myself for years I put my blood in a bottle People I know make comments like the latest one "Don't your braclets infect your cuts" they had laughed because they were just joking, but it really hurt me I kind of hate myself I love the man who raped me almost 5 years ago I don't feel good enough I'm kind of paranoid and I'm very jumpy. My friends laugh at me for it. I hate my fathers side of the family My father doesn't want anything to do with me My mom is dieing If my mom dies i would rather die then be sent to live with my father. I am fat I'm kind of ugly. If i put a lot of effort in I can look nice not pretty, but nice. I suck at school. And some other little things that i don't really matter that much so where can i go to get help because lately I have been having bad thoughts and I want them to stop.

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5 Answers to "Where can I go to get help I feel so mently awful all the time and where can I go that my family won't find out about it"

  1. quilty56 - 51-55 years old - female

    Posted by quilty56 Apr 6th, 2012 at 11:36PM

    You say you want help yet you any suggestion given you don't like. At this point, they way I read what you are writing is that you may not really want help yet. If you really want help, you need to get past the fear of letting your parents know. I don't know how much longer your mother may have to live, but, I would venture to say that she would want to be there for you and to help you, in spite of her illness. I can tell you, as a mother who has been through an extremely serious illness, I would still do anything for my kids anyway.

    You need to decide how ready you are for help and then do it. No more excuses.

    Like (1)

  2. whatsthefreakinpoint - 16-17 years old - female

    Reply by whatsthefreakinpoint Apr 6th, 2012 at 11:40PM

    I`m just a kid I don`t know how. I know I need help I just don`t know how to get it I know you are 100% right and I want help, but telling anyone I know about my problems just isn`t something I can do. Not yet i guess. I`m sorry to hear you have a serious illness I wish the best for you :)

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  3. TheSquirrel - 46-50 years old - male

    Posted by TheSquirrel Apr 6th, 2012 at 8:10PM

    Wow. I know a kid who fits your description almost exactly. This is scary.

    Look, if you are serious about finding some help and you live in the USA (I do not know enough about other countries to say), very likely your best bet is to approach a trustworthy teacher or school administrator and ask for help. Your problems were more common than I would like to think in the school where I taught some years ago. Not only do the good guys in a school system have the training to help, they are sometimes blessed with discretionary funds as well.

    If that is not a possibility, then consider looking up and calling a local government agency that deals with this type of thing. I am not a big fan of government; however, this is one thing they often do better than private help, mainly because there is more oversight of their activities. If you have trouble finding them, you can google your local crisis line and call them to get the contacts you need.

    Regardless of what you do with the above information, please understand the following. You are not the only one to feel ugly at your age. I did, too, and so have many, many others. The same goes for being unsure of yourself. Most of us realize, when we look back, that we had nothing to feel shaky about except our own self-perceptions. If you are truly unfortunate looking, remember Stephen Fry. Boxy, lumpy, gay in a period where being gay was really hard -- yet what an exceptional and complete man.

    Have a bit of faith in your biology. Your mind will change in seemingly miraculous ways sometime within the next few years. You must hang in there to know. As for the cutting and such, you probably should find a counselor or doctor.

    You be strong, and good luck.

    Like (1)

  4. whatsthefreakinpoint - 16-17 years old - female

    Reply by whatsthefreakinpoint Apr 6th, 2012 at 8:44PM

    Thank and I don't live in usa I live in canada, but I'll try what you said. I really do want help I can't go on living the way I do I have scars on my arms and legs and my ribs that will be with me forever

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  5. TheSquirrel - 46-50 years old - male

    Reply by TheSquirrel Apr 6th, 2012 at 10:00PM

    Don't worry too much about those scares. There is simply nothing to be done about changing them. There is much to do about making sure that you do not add to them. If anyone laughs or take issue with them, just laugh right along -- "I know. What was I thinking?" sort of thing. There is something to that old saw about deciding and acting with confidence as truth in advance.

    Like (1)

  6. holywren - 51-55 years old

    Posted by holywren Apr 6th, 2012 at 8:07PM

    For all the answers here you should know that you are protected by the Hipaa laws which give you privacy for medical treatment. AA has a program for cutters.You need to save yourself!

    Like (1)

  7. whatsthefreakinpoint - 16-17 years old - female

    Reply by whatsthefreakinpoint Apr 6th, 2012 at 8:45PM

    I didn't know there was AA for cutters, what would you do just go and talk about your feelings or would they tell you ways to stop cutting because I've tried a lot of things like burning instead or using a rubber band

    Like (1)

  8. holywren - 51-55 years old

    Reply by holywren Apr 6th, 2012 at 9:56PM

    Friend's son got the number (1800Don't cut )1 800 366 8288 at meeting. Whatever you do find help talk to a pastor they have resources for help centers.You have to seek till you find don't be discouraged keep trying to stop and get help...rape crisis center should help you too . The cutting is from that issue left unattended..

    Like (1)

  9. looking4realdeal - 46-50 years old - male

    Posted by looking4realdeal Apr 6th, 2012 at 8:01PM

    first of all, you need to stop listening to all the negativety around you. you need to believe in yourself.
    you're unique, and you probably have a hidden talent inside you. STOP telling yourself that you're fat
    and ugly !!! don't pay any attention to the mean people that laugh at you. unfortunately, your parents
    are your parents,and there's nothing you can do to change that. sorry for your misfortunate problem
    of being raped. that's where all this garbage started. don't cut yourself, stand tall, be proud of who
    you are !!! without you in this world, you will never know who does care for you. I think everyone on this
    site cares for each other, and we reach out to those who need answers. my best answer for you is,
    just live, smile, know that in someone's eyes, you're a very special person. :)

    Like (1)

  10. whatsthefreakinpoint - 16-17 years old - female

    Reply by whatsthefreakinpoint Apr 6th, 2012 at 8:47PM

    My friends and family don't actually know I cut or that I was raped, my big brother jokes about me being cutter all the time, but i don't think he does it to be mean. He's not mean he's just teasing, but it really hurts sometimes and thank you for helping this site is great and the people here are amazing

    Like (1)

  11. looking4realdeal - 46-50 years old - male

    Reply by looking4realdeal Apr 6th, 2012 at 8:54PM

    if it really hurts you and bothers you when your big brother jokes around about your cutting, then, tell him how it makes you feel. you shouldn't feel ashamed for cutting yourself, but, you really do need to find another way of letting out your feelings. there are many teenagers that have this same problem, and they are going to really hurt themselves badly, and end up in a hospital. then what do you tell your parents ? talk to them or even a school counselor and let them know what is going on. life is too precious to give up, and think there's no hope. :)

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    2 more replies
  12. justkoz - 61-65 years old

    Posted by justkoz Apr 6th, 2012 at 7:57PM

    I would suggest you look in the yellow pages under mental health. They have all kinds of listings there. I don't know how you are going to pay for this. I think there are state run clinic's but you would have to have your parents know about it maybe.

    Call different places like the state run clinic and ask them if you can see them with out your parents permission. Ask a counselor at school if they know of anything to help you.
    I wish you could at least tell one of your parents so they could help get you to some therapy.

    Like (1)

  13. whatsthefreakinpoint - 16-17 years old - female

    Reply by whatsthefreakinpoint Apr 6th, 2012 at 8:49PM

    My father wouldn't care I don't even talk to him anymore and my mom cares too much about what people think to understand. I can't tell a counselor at my school. I was going to one day, but then I saw that she had a sign on her door saying that everything is confidential except when someone is being hurt or hurting themselve. So that's out of the question.

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