Weight issues haunt so many people and fuel their feelings of insecurity and lack of self worth. My theory is that being overweight is the symptom and not the problem. Solve the core problem, and losing the weight becomes part of the natural outcome. To me, the fact that you mention her childhood and her past, is very revealing. She is not a child anymore, but an adult woman. She cannot blame her choices as an adult on her childhood or her parents. Rather, she must accept responsibility for herself and for her actions. She must act as she wishes to become. As she acts, so she will become. It is inevitable. She can wallow in self pity saying woe is me because my stepmom was bad to me, or else she can simply begin to act like the woman she wishes to be. It is the Nike message. Just do it. Even if you don't believe it, just do it and you will become it. Take that first step and then another and another until it eventually forms into your habit. All that Character is, is a collection of habits formed out of repeated actions. And the good news is that our actions are what free will is all about. In the entire universe, the only thing we can control is ourselves. And the only thing we can control about ourselves is that we get to choose our actions. As you act, so you become.
Get together with her and have HER write down 5 positive things about her and then have her say them OUTLOUD every morning when she gets up and every evening when she goes to bed.
That's a hard one. I have issues myself but I have been told that changing the inner voice helps. She has been programed to do bad "self talk" because that's all she's ever heard. I'd be willing to talk her too if she wants. :) sometimes knowing that there's someone out there going through the same thing....it helps to have that support :)
can kinda just cure itself overtime really. My sis has picked on her own looks all her life. (while she is good looking). But it makes no diffrence that it comes from me really. Have to be validated by everyone els, like the world, (sadly). Even if it seems futile to say anything really, I still do. When she meets a guy (or girl if that is her thing) that treats her like a princess basicly im sure most if not all would vanish really.